Modern day foraging.

After driving around all evening delivering food it was time to decide what I was going to eat for dinner. I pulled up to Rosa's Cafe to place my last order of the evening. The restaurant was down to a skeleton crew so I knew the order was going to take longer than normal. I sat down to wait.

At a lot of Mexican restaurants here in Texas have a salsa bar. You can help yourself to all sorts of salsa and vegetables. I looked over the options. They had salsa, chopped onions, chopped jalapenos, Pico de Gallo, tomatoes, Cilantro, Lemons, limes and other items that I had never seen before. I thought to myself, A hungry guy could make a nice omelet with all that stuff. Then it hit me, I was a hungry guy, I liked omelets. This is just crazy enough to work.

I started loading up the tiny containers. I figured that it would look like I was filling up these containers for my delivery order. Little did they know my devious plan. I had a lot of time to kill so I ended up filling 16 tiny containers which are shown below. Pico de Gallo on the left, then onions, Jalapenos and finally salsa on the right.

Luckily I had a dozen eggs and some shredded cheese already. I fried up all the condiments first then added the eggs on low heat and made a scramble. When it was all done I put the cheese on top to let it melt a bit then threw salsa on. Practically a textbook version of huevos rancheros. It only took me about 6 min to put everything together since the restaurant had already chopped everything up. I was very satisfied with my handy work. Looks a lot better than 80% of the junk food I delivered tonight. The saving were also a strong, fragrant, spicy additon that really elevated my enjoyment of the entire process. Delicious.

        

Free Chicken Sandwich

I was out and about delivering food this Saturday when I arrived at Chick-fil-A. It was jam packed as usual. There was a double line of cars surrounding the building. I decided to save some gas and go inside to place my customers order. 4 piece chicken tender combo with waffle fries and a Dr. Pepper. Pretty standard stuff until the cashier handed me the receipt.

Before I could throw the receipt in the garbage she stopped me. We locked eyes and she gazed deep into my soul and whispered seductively, if you fill out this survey within the next two days, you can get a free sandwich. Spicy or original. This sent a shiver down my spine and I was mesmerized by the thought of a free sandwich. As I waited to pick up my order I wondered if I could get another customers receipt too so I could fill out a couple surveys to get even more free sandwiches. It was then I realized that the survey does not print out on every receipt. Was I one of the chosen? I didn't have time to find out as my order was complete and I needed to get back into my car to deliver the food.

When I arrived home I logged on to the site. www.mycfavisit.com. The first thing the site asks for is the serial number on the receipt to prove that you actually went to Chick-fil-A and made a purchase. My customer made the purchase so I would be reaping the rewards of the survey without spending anything. I was taking advantage of a gaping loophole. They said very explicitly that I will need to provide my email and that if I do not, I will not receive my free sandwich. Pretty clever tactic. What they don't know is I maintain a bunch of fake emails specifically for this reason and also to leave poor restaurant reviews. Point and match. Jim Smith who has email address of derpk.klaus@gmail.com is my favorite fake account. Turns out he really likes Chick-fil-A.

At the end of my survey it said that it will take up to 24 hours for my digital gift card to arrive. Was there a problem at the digital post office? That is a long time to wait for a free sandwich. I went back to the home page and tried to enter a new serial number to see if I could win another sandwich with a different fake email. My original serial number was 4240308-01903-1351-0330-90 so I obviously tried 4240308-01903-0330-91 to see if that would produce another survey. Sadly, that did not work. Then I got on google and searched for "Chick-fil-A survey serial numbers". No numbers were listed. I did find a reddit thread about people asking about how they could get a survey for free but the discussion quickly descended into rude comments about each others mothers.

Finally, after hitting refresh about a thousand times my coupon arrived via my fake email address. I got a QR code that will entitle me to one free Chicken Sandwich. Hopefully that helpful cashier with the deep sultry voice will be there again to take my order of one free sandwich one packet of special sauce and one tap water. I'm sure she will be impressed. Maybe I can ask her to use her employee discount for me to get a side of waffle fries. Then I remembered that tomorrow is Sunday and Chick-fil-A is not open on Sundays because Jesus only eats fish on that day or something. Guess I'll have to wait another entire day for my spicy chicken delight. 

Here is an update from last week. Success!

Auto Insurance Adjustment

Around the beginning of the year I get a notification from Geico about my next 6 months of auto insurance. Its the Yang to the holiday Yin I have just enjoyed that brings me back to reality. They use all sorts of factors to determine how much your auto insurance is going to cost. Level of education, safety record, credit score, where you live, how much you drive and a bunch of other factors. What many people do not know is the insurance companies have a formula to determine if you are the type of person who may decide to switch policies. If you are not they often add a premium to your rate.

To date I have never made an insurance claim. I have had a couple cars bump into mine but it has never been anything serious. All the money I have paid for insurance premiums has been pure profit for the insurance company. I own my car and have the lowest amount of coverage possible. In the event of an accident all the lives of the humans involved in both vehicles would be covered and the other car. My car would not be covered and I would pay any repair costs out of pocket. At that point I was paying about $67 a month for my policy.

My first attempt at getting my premium lowered failed. My credit score had improved quite a bit last year so I called up the insurance company and asked for a lower rate based on this fact. The agent was very shrewd. He told me that he couldn't offer me a lower rate but if I signed up for renters insurance I could get a discount on my auto insurance. He transferred me over to the renters insurance department. Not one of my possessions is worth insuring but I decided to let him give me a quote. For the combing policy it was going to be about $85 a month. I declined and hung up the phone. Of course this quote dogged me for a few months since they must have told their sales department I was a hot lead. I was not.

I decided I would have to take a different tact. A few months had elapsed so I thought I would try again. This time I got online an looked up some quotes from other companies. My quote from Allstate came in at about $90 a month. Nope. Then I got a quote from Esurance for $55 a month. That was appealing and I saved this quote on my computer. Then I called Geico and asked if they were willing to price match a competitor. At first the agent was resistant. She said that I was as low as possible. I informed her that I would like to stay with Geico but Esurance had come in at $55 a month. Magically she found a way to match their price. How strange.

The first thing she did was switch my auto pay from going through my debit card to being directly withdrawn from my checking account. Even though this money was still coming out of the same account they were charging me a $4 a month processing fee. Then she lowered my coverage in some area down to the minimum. I had been paying this processing fee for years and no one thought to mention it.

I told my story of triumph to a friend of mine recently and his reaction was, "why bother?" Mostly because I think its funny and also because there is no reason to spend more and not get more. Most companies are not focused on trying to maximize the value they deliver to you as a consumer. They are trying to maximize their profits. If they can find a way to extract extra money from you they will do it. They prey on the fact that most people will not shop around. Many times people just accept whatever price they are given because it takes time to look for a better deal. If you take a little time to compare rates and arm yourself with some information you can cut through all the hidden fees to get to a reasonable price. I now do this with all my bills and the sweet savings add up each month. Each dollar I save is a dollar I do not have to earn by working.

 

How much would you pay to insure this sweet ride?

Repurposed Auto Accessories.

I drive an old Lincoln town car. The drivers side seat is falling apart. I was sweating on it all summer. That and constantly getting in and out of the car has taken its toll. The stitching is starting to fall apart. I was driving around some family members recently and my uncle Mike asked me if a bear had attacked my seat. Normally I am the only one in the car so I never think about it. I decided I needed to do something with that dumpy looking seat.

There were so many possible solutions online. I decided to go look for a simple elegant seat cover. When I arrived at the local AutoZone they had an entire shelf dedicated to seat covers. They all looked like something either a race car driver or someone who wished they could be in the next fast and furious movie would think is cool. They were also designed for bucket seats and I have a huge hybrid bench seat. I asked the clerk were people who have more of a daily driver might go to get a seat cover. He told me that it might be easier to build a time machine, travel back to 1998 and buy one there than to try and find one locally.

Time travel sounded like a good idea so I pulled out my smartphone and typed in Kmart on my google map.

I would have to try the next best thing and headed over to Walmart. They had more of an every man car seat cover selection. It came down to something that can only be described as a seat bib and a net of wooden beads. I decided to try the bib option. It was a little small for my seat but the harness part was made of elastic so I was certain it would fit. Out in the parking lot I put the seat cover on and sat down to see how it felt. One of the elastic straps immediately snapped off. Back to the drawing board. I walked back in and got a full refund. I didn't even need to make up some story about faulty merchandise. They just took it back no questions asked and went back to picking their noses.

I then proceeded to forget the entire thing. Until today.

I went for a swim at the free local pool. They should really call it the Hobo showering area that happens to have a pool attached. Swimming outdoors in December is a treat for me since its snowing in my hometown so I cannot complain too much. I was about halfway through my laps when I got to thinking about my seat again. I need something that I can clean periodically that will fit over the seat. A T-shirt? No, too trashy. How about a sweater? What would I do with the sleeves? I don't know if I was over caffeinated or under oxygenated but an idea hit me like an endorphin taser to the brain.

How about a vest?

I couldn't think of a reason why it wouldn't work so I drove over to the closest Goodwill to find a vest. I found one right away for $5 that I thought would fit around my seat. It had some zippered pockets on the front but I just decided that I could just put it in backwards so that the zippers would not irritate my back. That way people in the back seat could also use the pockets to store some small knickknacks. I suppose I could also put napkins and plastic forks in their too in case anyone needed those. Maybe some tiny roadside flares. 

I was all set to purchase my snappy new vest/seat cover when I saw the line. There was only one flustered looking woman running the cash register. People were giving her a hard time and acting real snippy. One woman came up and asked the clerk if she could be let into the fitting room. The Frazzled clerk said that she would be over there as soon as she could but she had to check everyone else in line out first. After witnessing this I walked over to the clerk and told her that I would let the customer into the fitting room myself if she would loan me the key. I would have preferred to do just about anything other than stand in line.

When I returned to my place in line after letting the woman into the fitting room it was just in time to check out. As I handed my vest and the dressing room key back to the clerk she said "Well what do you know, looks like this item is half off today". She winked at me and we both laughed. We had just colluded to defraud the Goodwill for half the price of my vest. That's what I call a good woman. If I hadn't seen a ring on her finger I would have asked her out right then and there. I should have asked if she had a sister. Something to think about for next time.

Problem solved. 

The Half Cup Maneuver

I spend four or five days a week in coffee shops writing trivia questions. Sitting at home never allows me to concentrate on one specific task. I'll be sitting at the table ready to write when I start thinking about doing a load of laundry or one of my roommates needs a small favor. Distractions are around every corner and I can never get into "production mode". It seems easier to block off a couple hours to focus when I am out of the house and then be done for the day.

Each time I go to a coffee shop I feel obligated to buy something. This is a business and the WIFI doesn't pay for itself. Most places have a drip coffee available which is usually the cheapest item that does not have sugar in it although sometimes the soda costs more than a small coffee.

Each cup of coffee is marginally dirt cheap for the company once they have produced it. Sometimes the cost of the cup is more than the cost of the fluid that goes in it.

Before I developed this strategy I would order a large size cup of coffee since that was the amount I wanted to drink. What a fool I was back then.

I discovered that most places will offer you a refill at a discount. Lets say you ordered a large coffee for $3.50. They might offer a refill for any size coffee for 75 cents. If the small coffee is $2.25 and a refill is .75 cents you can get even more coffee for $3.00.

Then I took my coffee game to the next level.

I created a socially engineered system I call "The Half Cup Maneuver." Instead of ordering a full refill I ask for just a half of a cup. In all of the coffee shops I have encountered, not one has a button on their register for a half a cup of coffee. At this point most baristas will just wave me on and say its on the house. If they do come up with some figure like .30 cents I'll pull out my credit card and hand it to them. I never carry cash. It might actually cost the business more to process my payment than they would make at that point and they usually just tell me not to worry about it.

Through this method my small coffee transforms into a large pretty much everywhere I go. The only additional cost was my dignity which is worthless. Not everyone will feel comfortable using this method since it preys on the fact that the baristas live on their tips and need to be accommodating to retain their jobs. If I save $1 every time I go out that is $5 more per week I can spend on beard wax.

Whether my second cup is half empty or half full is irrelevant, it's free.

Update: I found a way to get a free cup of coffee when I am in a pinch.Walk into your local bank branch. For me this is Chase Bank. Go to the indoor ATM and check your checking account balance. After that walk up to the coffee station and help yourself to a complementary coffee. Not sure if every bank offers this but since they try to copy each other in everything else I assume they do.

Ask for savings.

The savings are out there, you just have to ask.

The faceless corporations we deal with on a daily basis cannot read your mind, although they are working on that. Front line employees who represent these companies have nothing to lose by giving you a deal. Usually they are going to be paid the same hourly wage no matter what. As long as they follow the rules, they are instructed to make the customer as happy as possible. It feels good to hook someone up with a deal and attracting new customers is expensive. It makes business sense to reward loyalty. Being open to the idea that a company will give you a deal is the first step.

I flew back on United Airlines from South America recently. I landed in Chicago in the afternoon and was looking at a 7 hour layover. I had purchased the cheapest ticket possible, hence the obscene layover. After going through customs there was a United customer service desk. Would they be willing to put me on an earlier flight? I've got 7 hours to kill, might as well ask. I cheerfully walked up and asked Jennifer the desk agent (all employees wear name tags and I find that it helps build rapport if you address them by name. Dale Carnegie would agree) if I could be put onto an earlier flight. I had low expectations but I had just finished a book on the science of luck, and I was feeling lucky. She said the word "no" followed by the word "problem". "No problem, we have an empty seat on that same flight leaving in 45 min". She printed me off a new ticket and I was on my way at no additional charge. I was of course very pleased with myself. Jennifer was also happy that she could help me out. I no longer refer to United Airlines as a bunch of scumbags out to molest my wallet. everyone wins.

I have been working out at Planet Fitness for the last couple years. When I moved to Austin, they had a deal where you could sign up for 6 months and pay $15 a month with no contract. If you wanted the $10 a month basic card you had to sign up for a year. At that time I wasn't sure if I would be staying here so I opted for the 6 month deal. I was crushing it on the elliptical one day when a flyer caught my eye. They were having a Halloween themed promotion called "The killer deal". $5 down, $10 a month, no contract. Usually these deals only apply to new members but I was emboldened from the endorphins rampaging through my brain. I walked up to Thad the Planet Fitness clerk and asked if current members could take advantage of the new promotion. He looked bored to tears. The opportunity to do anything other than stare vacantly into space was a real treat for him. After a vigorous rereading of the promotion he was unsure and said he would need to get the manager. The manager looked like he had been roused from a nap and said the magic words, "yeah, whatever." Just like that I was on my way to saving $5 a month on my already dirt cheap gym membership. Now I was really feeling good so I went over and maxed out on the squat rack and had a quiet celebration because I did not want to set off the lunk alarm.

My credit card has also been getting a workout lately. I have not been steeped in all the nuances of using a credit card. My basic strategy has been use the credit card for everything, pay it off before the grace period so there is no interest and somehow this builds credit. To date I have still never paid out any interest or fees. This had been working until I ran up against the concept of credit utilization rate. I did not realize that using a high percentage of your available credit was a bad thing for your credit score. I had a month where I had a high balance which I paid before the grace period but which tanked my credit score 30 points. I was pissed and needed a plan of action. I picked up a book called "I will teach you to be rich" by Ramit Sethi to educate myself on credit. He advises people with credit utilization issues to call up the bank or credit card company and ask for a higher credit limit. This will only work for people who have the discipline to not use all this extra credit. I thought that since my credit score had just dropped my bank would not be interested in extending me more credit but what did I have to lose. I called the number on the back of my card and asked Sam (Customer service agents are usually required to give their name or at least some name during their greeting) to have my credit limit raised. She hit a couple of buttons and almost doubled my credit limit. Super easy. This will also cause my credit score to increase. 

These are examples of times when these requests worked out in my favor. It doesn't work every time. I called up Geico last week and asked for a lower rate on my car insurance and they turned me down. Big deal. I'll shop around this week for a lower rate, call them back and ask them to match it. I find this intellectually challenging and fun. Once you do this a few times you start to see the possibilities everywhere. It's just like Neo seeing the matrix for the first time. 

The saving are out there, you just have to ask.   

 

New address trouble.

A few weeks ago I moved. This means I would need to have my address changed so I could continue to receive mail. Initially I thought, do I even want to receive mail? Its mostly junk advertisements that I end up throwing out. Most of the people I care to have contact me have my phone number or email. Why do I need another flyer from Costco telling me I can save $3 a year on my yearly mayonnaise expenses when I don't even eat mayonnaise? At least online ads attempt to be targeted to my interest, where as junk mail is a complete shot in the dark.

I was going to forget the entire thing until my roommate informed me that she used to work for the post office. She told me that it was free to change your address and could be done easily online. The words "free" and "do not have to stand in line at the post office" had a certain appeal. As a responsible adult who did not want any future Christmas and Birthday checks lost, I decided to take action.

I fired up my Toshiba laptop using the free WIFI at the library and logged onto the USPS website. It was a pretty straight forward process to fill out the forms which took about 3 minutes to complete. Everything went smoothly until the very end. After expending 3 minutes of precious time, the USPS wanted my credit card number. I assumed this was a way to verify my identity but I was mistaken. The dirty jackals that run the post office were demanding that I fork over $1 to change my address. After suppressing a wave of indignant rage, I looked at the fine print. If you filled out the form at a post office it was free, but to make the change online it would cost $1.

Now I was truly at a loss. Was I willing to pack up my computer. Get in my car. Drive to the nearest post office. Wait in line for an unknown length of time. Explain my situation to a postal worker. Fill out a form. Then possibly wait in line again for an unknown amount of time. All for one dollar?

You're Damn right I did.

It was 4pm on a Thursday in downtown Austin. It was grid lock traffic the minute I pulled out of they library. If you have never driven in Austin, try to avoid it between 3:30pm and 7pm if at all possible. My GPS told me that the closest post office was normally 20 minutes away, but because of road construction, it would take 45 minutes. Of course the place would be closing at 5pm.

As I entered the run down building with 15 minutes to spare, there was a short line. No problem, behind the counter there were 4 employees.  Apparently they were all on break because no one was being helped. Eventually it was my turn. I was informed that the form I needed was on the back wall behind the line I had been uselessly waiting in. I opened the packet, filled out the post card and handed it to the clerk. Mission accomplished.

Economists would call my decision to forgo spending the $1 "irrational behavior" and "inefficient". I ended up spending much more than $1 in effort if you consider all the wasted time and stress induced by this process. So why did I do it anyways? I ended up expending more than $1 worth of opportunity costs. Primarily it was because I felt it was unjust. Its the principle of the thing, right?

A few weeks later I received a letter from the USPS. It said: Important information enclosed. I opened this letter and it was FULL OF ADVERTISEMENTS. There must have been 20 different adds, Which means the post office made a profit off my decision to change my address. They also enclosed a letter asking me to verify my new address. If the letter arrived in my mail box, why would I need to verify anything? Its about enough to give me heart burn.

Did I learn anything?

Sadly, No.