Drinking for Science.

For the last few weeks I have been looking at an adult Santa costume on Amazon. I want to take a fun holiday picture with my girlfriend and thought a Santa suit would be the perfect addition to make the photo memorable. Even with my free shipping through a prime trial membership the cheapest suit that would fit was priced at $100. The price listed starts at $60 for a medium but when you put in XXXL then it jumps up to $100. They should call it a fat tax. For something this frivolous I thought this was too much to spend. There had to be a way I could get it for a discount.

I have begun to do open mic comedy shows around Austin so I joined the Austin comics Facebook group. One of the other comics posted an opportunity to be involved in a science experiment as a test subject. The pay? A $35 Amazon gift card. They needed test subjects to get drunk in their laboratory so they could test out some eye scanning devices. Sounds like a fun little Friday.

I sent in an email with my information and went in the following Friday. As promised they gave me a product code for a free Lyft ride. The driver showed up and I was on my way. She asked me what I was up to and I explained that I was going to go get drunk for a science experiment. Not sure that she actually believed me but she did get me to the right address.

When I arrived they scanned in a picture of my face and made me an official badge.

After being ushered into the lab area, which was the company breakroom, I was weighed and then given my baseline test. This was to measure my reactions while sober. Then the experimenter instructed to follow a bunch of dots on a screen. When finished I was returned to the lab area and given my first drink. It was 135 ml of Vodka with some orange juice mixed in. This is slightly over 3 standard shots of liquor. I was told to finish my drink within 10 minutes then in 20 more minutes the next test would begin.

Before my next round I took a breathalyzer. .033 was the first reading. Then .07 and finally .099 after my third round. I had become legally drunk in the state of Texas. The experimenter told me that I could stay as long as I wanted and enjoy some snacks. They brought in 6 domino's pizzas for the researchers and other participants. I ate an entire pizza along with some cliff bars and a tea. I was chatting with the staff quite a lot which they undoubtedly perceived as rambling. I was certainly "feeling it" and decided it was time to go home for a nap. When I told the experimenter I was ready to head home she presented me with my Amazon gift card and a post-it note with another Lyft promotion code to pay for my ride home. After a semi-coherent conversation with my Lyft driver I ended up in bed for a nice nap. It was about 7pm.

The next day I put my $35 credit toward the purchase of the adult Santa suit. In the end it cost me about $62. It arrived the very next day. They also have a 100% no questions asked return policy so after the pictures I may decide to return it and save even more but even if I keep it I think it was a good idea. You cannot put a price on fun. This must be a psychological bias but I feel like I got a great deal even though I technically paid full price for this. My enjoyment of the costume has been increased by my feeling that I somehow beat the system, even though that mental asthmatic is illogical and only in my head.

Update (1/1/2020)

I ended up sending the suit back. They issued my a 100% refund but it came in the form a Amazon gift card credit on my account instead of cash. I returned it before Christmas but I would have had the entire month of January to decide. Sweet. 

Free pool.

I've taken up swimming laps for exercise. Back in Michigan I always took swimming for granted since there were so many lakes. We lived on a lake when I was a kid so we went swimming almost every day during the summer. Here is Texas there is plenty of warm weather but no water. Lucky for me there are lots of pools available in Austin run by the city.

Each pool is run a bit differently. Many of them are neighborhood pools that are outdoor unheated pools that anyone can use for free. Some of the pools charge an admission. This is no problem most of the year since there is plenty of places to go for free during warm weather. The problem starts when it gets cold out. 

During the winter the city closes almost all of its pools. There are only 4 open during the winter. 3 of them charge an admission fee of $5. This seems like a small amount until you start swimming 3 times a week. That's $15 a week and $60 a month. My membership to planet fitness is only $10 a month.

There is one pool that does not charge admission called Big Stacy. The reason is that they allow Homeless people to come in and use the showers for free. They receive a government grant that covers their operating expenses because of this. There is usually not a line for a lane since most of the people are not swimming. Last time I waited in line for a shower and a guy came out with his dog. He had given his dog a shower too. There was hair all over the shower and I decided to just dry off and skip it.

One fine day I decided that it was time for my swim. I drove up to Big Stacy only to find that they were closed for the month for routine maintenance. The sign also said that I could go to the Bartholomew Park Pool which would be free for the month to accommodate people such as myself who had become addicted to their swimming fix.

I drove 25 minutes in rough traffic to this pool. When I arrived they were closed. The winter hours were from 1pm to 5pm and it was only 11pm. At this point I had 2 options. Burn two hours at a coffee shop reading and fooling around on the internet or I could drive to another pool and spend $5 on the admission. Going home without a swim was not an option. 

As I drove over to Deep Eddy I began to concoct the story that I would tell the person taking the admission at the desk. I would tell them my tale of woe about how much of a hassle it had been to finally arrive at an open pool and implore them to allow me to enter the pool for free. It was also about 45 degrees out which is unusual for Texas so I was not even certain they would be open. When I arrived I had this elaborate story all worked and put my most persuasive look on out only to find that it was off season so they were not even charging an admission fee. Score!

I successfully swam my laps and felt great afterwards. All it cost me was 4 hours of hassle and a quarter tank of gas. I learned to call ahead so I can avoid swimming through traffic all day.

New Belt(s)

For years I had a nice leather belt. Lately I started losing a little weight so the belt needed to be modified. I put in three new holes to make it tighter over a year period. This produced a small sense of accomplishment every day when I would get dressed. I would look at the belt each morning and feel good about the progress I had made. Sadly the belt started to fall apart around the buckle. It finally broke. It was beyond a simple repair and needed to be replaced.

I usually wear my shirt loose around the waist. No one actually sees my belt when I'm walking around. All it needs to do is keep my pants up. Purely utilitarian.

Walmart had belts for sale from anywhere between $9.95 and $14.95. I bought a stretchy belt that was reversible for $12.99. Black on one side, brown on the other. That's like two for the price of one. Problem solved. For about a month. Then the belt started to fall apart. The two layers began to come apart and the buckle began to get rusty. What a piece of junk.

Now I needed a new belt already. I felt like I wasted my money on the last one so there was no way I was going to return to Walmart. I still didn't want to spend a lot so I drove to a Ross clothing store. This is a discount chain so I was sure I could obtain a cheap belt. I found a nice belt by Steve Harvey for $14.99. It was also reversible and made of leather this time. After waiting in line for 20 minutes I took off my old belt and threw it in the trash right in front of the store. Once I put on my new belt I discovered that I had bought the wrong size since it was a few inches too short. After sheepishly exchanging it for a belt of the correct size I was on my way. 

The very next day I was going out to lunch with my girlfriend. I showed her my new belt. She agreed that it looked sharp. As we were getting out of the car I heard a popping noise. My belt had broken. The part that spins to allow the belt to be reversible had snapped. I took it off and left it in my car while we had lunch. I had to physically hold my pants up as we walked back and forth from the restaurant.

Lucky for me there was a Target across the street from the restaurant. I picked out a new belt. Brown, stretchy and not reversible this time. The sticker price was $19.95 but when I arrived at the register it was on clearance so it ended up costing $7.95 plus tax. So far this current belt has been going strong with no signs of damage for two weeks now. 

If you add it all up I have spent about $40 and 3 hours on belts in the last two months. I also suffered the mild embarrassment of my belt breaking. Not to mention the anger I feel at being suckered by shoddy belts. My original belt lasted for years. These others have been a huge disappointment. If I took all the money I spent on inferior belts and spent it on a higher quality belt this could have all been a non-issue.

In the future I need to remember to include a vision of the bigger picture. At each incremental step I made a logical decision to save money. When you look at the series of events as a whole my actions seem idiotic. This comes up a lot in sales. "Mr. Customer, are you buying for price or value?" It can be hard to know. The most expensive item isn't always the best value either if it is over priced. It is easier than ever to buy crappy merchandise and then just return it when it breaks. You get your money back but you do not get your time back.

I don't really have a good way to determine how to get the most value out of each situation at this time. It is something I will be reflecting on this month.

Satisfaction guaranteed

I purchase my groceries at the local HEB grocery store. I like the prices and selection. They have their own in house HEB brand which is reasonably priced. They also have a discount in house brand called Hill Country Fare. On the back of each one of their products they have a satisfaction guarantee that states: We hope you are satisfied with this product, if not, we will cheerfully refund your money. I bought a bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil a few weeks ago. It did not taste very good so I thought I would put their guarantee to the test.

Nowhere on the bottle is there any information about who to contact for a refund. I decided to start with the Hill Country Fare website. Hill Country is owned by HEB so I was directed to their website. I found a customer care line to call (1-800-432-3113). After navigating through the phone tree I was put on with a customer service representative named Fred. He told me that I could return it to the store I purchased it at for a full refund. I told him that I did not have a receipt and I could not remember which location I purchased it from. He said that if I present the credit card I used to purchase the item they could look it up. I fired up my Kia and drove over to the HEB I thought I purchased it from.

The bottle was half empty when I set it on the customer service desk. The clerk must have been in high school. I told her that I wanted to claim the satisfaction guarantee because I did not like the taste of this olive oil. She asked for my receipt. Instead I handed her my credit card and explained what the customer service agent had told me about being able to look up the item. After punching a few keys she asked me if I would like the amount returned to my credit card or would I prefer cash? Great Success!

This all went really smoothly. The clerk was even cheerful too which I was not expecting. They proved that they truly stand behind their offer. It is nice to know that there are still companies out there that do what they say they will.

New used car.

After my trusty Lincoln decided to break down again I decided to break down and buy a new used car. I have always driven a used car. Not being a car guy I have just driven whatever becomes available in the friends and family inventory at a good price. All I really want is something mechanically sound. Both of my jobs require me to have reliable transportation so when something goes wrong with my car my level of stress goes through the roof.

Before buying a new used car I went to my bank to secure a car loan. Improving my credit has been a little hobby of the last few years. At the time I spoke to Chase bank, my score was around 740. I assumed that getting approved for a car loan was similar to getting a mortgage. I would be approved for a certain amount based on credit worthiness and income. apparently that is not how it works at Chase. You go find a car first, give the information to the bank then hope that they approve you for it.

I did not like the idea of spending the time to find a suitable car only to be denied right at the end. My stepfather recommended that I try a local credit union. I walked into the nearest one and had a video chat with a loan officer over the internet. I explained that I would like to borrow around $6,000 to buy a used car. After giving him my info he processed my loan application my request was denied. Even though I had good credit, he said that since I had no payment history on a similar installment type loan they would not approve it. Apparently 100% on time repayment of my credit cards was not enough to overcome this hurdle.

With this information in mind I thought that I would have to hang onto my Lincoln a bit longer and hope just it didn't break. This lasted for about a month. The pistons started misfiring again when I was way outside of town on a delivery. At first I thought it was bad gas but after trying out a gas cleaner that did not clear up the problem I took it to auto-zone to have the codes scanned. They said it was a misfire in the 1st and 8th cylinder. I knew all about this as I had it "fixed" about 6 months ago for about $1,700. I figured all in I spent over $4,000 to fix a car worth about $1000 on the Kelly Blue Book website if it was in "good condition".  Mine was in whatever below "fair" is. I saw an almost identical car listed for $400 on Craigslist. It was time to cut my losses and let the car retire to the junk yard in the sky.

Lincoln Cartier 1998

 

I called my father and he agreed to co-sign my loan if I could not obtain one alone. I had been looking around at all the other cars on the road to see what was popular. I saw a lot of Toyota, Nissan and Kia vehicles cruising around. I kept thinking that it would be cool to drive a Kia Soul. I had forgotten that I had rented one and driven it on a trip to Vegas a few years ago. I found a used Kia Soul online at the local Kia dealership and took a Lyft to go for a test drive. I have a large body, so my main concern was, would I have enough room in this car? Driving the Lincoln was like cursing around town with your entire living room. Would my stomach mash up under the steering wheel? I fit just fine and the car drove well during my test drive. I told the salesman that I would like to buy it.

Kia Soul 2013 

 

The car was listed at $5,999 on the website. It had close to 100,000 miles. It was in good condition. Some scratches and a small chip in the windshield. The sales person came back with a grid showing a bunch of options. Some how we were now talking $9,000. After looking over the sheet I asked if it was all necessary. He admitted that most were just options. I elected to remove line items like paint protector off the total. With tax, license and fees it was going to be $7,200ish. He also agreed to replace the key fob and get me a spare tire that was missing. I was happy and we proceeded to see about the financing.

This is when the bullshit started in earnest. I let it slip that I had been having trouble securing a car loan and that I had a co-signer available if I needed one. He looked at my credit and driving record and figured we could work it out. I told him all of my income was from 1099 work and it could be difficult to prove my income. He asked me to pull up how much I had made doing deliveries this year. Apparently it was an adequate amount for him to proceed. Then he showed me some options for different service packages. Some of these service packages would have added as much as $200 a month to my monthly payment. I told him I did not want a service package at all and that I would pay my repair expenses out of pocket.

This is when he used his trump card. He told me that the bank would feel more comfortable approving my loan if I had a service package attached to the deal. This was my pain point and he exploited it. I said that if that was the case I would take the lowest possible service package which was the bronze service package. This would make my monthly payments rise from $150 a month to $180 a month. I decided that I could afford that amount so we moved forward. He was able to get the loan approved. I put down $1,750. The interest rate was a bit high at 9% but I was happy that I was able to get the loan on my own. I drove home my Kia Soul that same afternoon and started to think up names for my new used car.

The finance guy had given me a large envelope of documents. I looked through them. The loan amount for the car was not what I was expecting. It said that if I paid off my car in the allotted time the total at the end would be $13,300. WHAT!?! That seemed insane. I looked through all the line items and found that the "service package", which I found out is more commonly called an "extended warranty" was going to add $3,000 to my loan plus the interest on that portion. The finance guy also tacked on another year and a half to the loan term to disguise the expense and keep my monthly payment low. Instead of 48 months it was going to be 66 months.

I was pretty pissed off. It said right on the service contract that it in no way had any bearing on a customers ability to obtain financing. He led me to believe that the service contract was essential to secure the financing. When I thought back to the way he phrased it in his office, he said that bank would feel more comfortable but he never did say it was required. Technically he did not lie about this, just misled me to get what I'm sure would have been a nice commission. Lucky for me the contract stated that it could be canceled within 30 days for a $50 fee. I drove into the dealership the next morning and asked for my extended warranty to be canceled. I was told that he was unable to cancel the contract until my plates and registration came in. He also asked me to strongly consider keeping it. I left his office so I could go find a place to calm down. I came in the next day and talked to a different person in the finance department who told me the same thing. I would just have to wait.

After I got back from my trip to Alaska, I drove back to the dealership to try once again to cancel my warranty. It was day 26 of my 30 day grace period so I was a bit antsy. The finance guy gave me the run around a bit more but finally relented. He handed me my plates, registration and a pamphlet on how to cancel the warranty myself online. He would not even take the time to fill out the paperwork for me. I'm sure most of his customers do not read the contracts over and just pay it so he must have been unhappy that I reduced his commission. The difference in cost is huge. Under the original terms I would have paid $13,300 total in five and a half years. By removing the $3,000 service package my car will end up costing $8,700 if I pay it off in four years. I intend to pay it off faster of course.

Was it smart to cancel this contract? They were providing a real service if the car broke down. It's not like they were just taking my money for nothing, right? The contract required a $200 deductible for each repair. It covered some types of repairs and not others. It would last for 36 months. If I got into an accident my insurance will cover it since I had to purchase full coverage in order to obtain financing. I will have to pay incidental car repairs out of pocket now. I bought it "As Is" so if the engine drops on the ground I could end up looking pretty dumb. While I do anticipate some repairs the car is only 6 years old so I expect it shall be worry free for the next few years, after which time the warranty will have elapsed anyway.

I went into the dealership thinking I was sharp since I had spent time selling phones for Verizon. I was completely bamboozled even though I had seen some of the inside tricks of the trade. Turns out there is a lot more to learn about selling. In the future I need to be better about not putting myself into a pressured situation where I need to make a decision quickly. It was fortunate there were some consumer protections to help me get out of the contract. It would have also been smart to read over the fine print before signing the documents instead of being in a rush to get the deal done.

What should I name it?

Leaky Tire Update

A few weeks ago I patched up one of the tires on my Lincoln. I assumed that this fixed the problem forever and went about my life. Until last night. I was doing a few evening favor food deliveries. I pulled into Chick-fil-A for a large order. The customer wanted 9 of the 4 mini chick combos and 3 milk shakes. I was told that they only serve the mini chicks for breakfast but I could order the large platter which would include a few extra minis. I told him that I would not eating it so it really did not matter to me. Little did I know that in less than an hour I would be eating it, and my words.

I went back to my car, mapped out the location to my customers house which was about 13 minutes away and began to back out of my parking space. Immediately I could tell one of the tires was flat. I pulled into a new space to check it out. Yes, the front passenger side was flat and a bit shredded. I thought it was the back passenger that was the problem before then I remembered I had the tires rotated when I had the patch put on. I sure am lucky to have this go flat in a parking lot and not while going down the highway.

I'm not a mechanic but I have changed a tire before on my old Sonoma pickup truck when I was living in Salt Lake City. I thought it would be a lot easier this time since I had shoes on instead of slippers. I have been cursing the day I bought this car from my uncle but to his credit there was a full sized inflated spare in the trunk along with a functional jack. I also received a little help from my "bonus dad" as he likes to be called. He likes to buy us boys a flashlight every year for Christmas so I also had a nice flexible flashlight in the trunk. That was helpful since it was dark out. I could have probably figured it out with the ambient light from the Chick-Fil-A but this was much easier.

I pulled everything out of the trunk and started fooling with the jack. I couldn't figure out how the handle was supposed to fit into the jack. For a while I thought it was missing a part. A guy came up and asked me if I needed a hand. I showed him my predicament. He showed me how to put the handle properly into the jack. He told me he would give me a hand while his wife was inside ordering chicken. We took turns jacking up the car and taking off the lug nuts. With the two of us it only took about 10 minutes. He said his name was Moses. I thanked him for his help and gave him my card. I told him if he ever needed a hand with something to give me a call. 

By this time the milk shakes had melted. I asked my favor handler what to do with the food but he just told me to eat the food or throw it away. They had already assigned another runner to that delivery. I ended up taking it home and feasting on Mini chicken sandwiches and delicious Chick-Fil-A sauce. I put the shakes into the refrigerator and they were pretty good after an hour. Through some oversight in the system I ended up getting paid for that run even though I never completed the order. Score.

The next morning I went to go look for a new tire. I had canceled an appointment with the discount tire down the road and left them a bad review for trying to get me to buy a new tire instead of patching the old one. The thought of having to talk to the same salesman only a few weeks after this incident was not appealing. Instead I started driving over to the Walmart auto care center near my house. I took the back way to avoid the highway if I happened to get another flat. On the way I saw this sign.

 This was a guy operating out of a metal pole building selling used tires. I thought what the hell. I want to get rid of this car soon anyways, why not save a few bucks and buy a used tire. I followed the signs to savings. 

There was an older gentleman sitting under a tent in the back. I explained to him that I needed a used tire. He took one look at my spare and said, "do you know that your lug nuts are on backwards?" Clearly he was a pretty sharp mechanic. I told him I was no mechanic and he laughed. I pulled my tire out of the trunk and he went though his inventory to look for a matching size. After a few minutes he told me that he didn't have an exact match but he had one that would work but it was just a bit narrower than my current tire. I asked him if it would fit and be safe to drive. He said it would be fine on there so I told him to go ahead and rig it up. After a bit of calculation he told me it would cost $45 for the tire and instillation. He needed cash since his credit card machine was either broken or non-existent. I drove over to Chase to pick up the cash and when I got back he had the tire mounted on the old rim. This guy must have worked on a pit crew as a younger man. He had those tires swapped in about a minute. Really a master tire craftsman. Hopefully this tire will last long enough for me to drive this car to the junk yard after I obtain a loan for a new one.

Did I come out ahead by getting the tire patched in the first place? I would say no. I spent $25 to get the tire patched and then another $45 for a used tire. I could have likely bought a brand new tire for less than $100. Then there was the time, hassle and inconvenience to have to drop a delivery. This could have happened on the way to a trivia show which would have been a major problem. The stress of not knowing if it will continue to break down is wearing on me. The emotional and financial cost to maintain this vehicle is just too high. I'd like to think this is how a person gains wisdom but maybe wisdom in this case is just not trying to cut corners all the time. Apparently wisdom means really means expensive lesson.

 

Travel Hacking

When doing deliveries on the weekend I end up spending a lot of time in my car. Sometimes as much as 25 hours in a 3 day period. In order to prevent myself from going stir crazy I like to load up some Podcasts. The Joe Rogan Experience (http://podcasts.joerogan.net/) is my favorite along with The Mad Fientist (https://www.madfientist.com/) and The Bigger Pockets podcast (https://www.biggerpockets.com/podcast). What I like about podcasts is that I can select the topics I want to hear about without too much commercial interruption. Plus these particular podcasts are free to download. I used to listen to the BBC and NPR all the time in the car but the news has become too depressing. I thought I would miss it but I don't. It's really easy to load up 20 hours of podcast and then go cruse the town delivering emergency tacos to the drunk and hungry.

While listening to the Mad Fientist podcast, one of the guests introduced me to travel hacking. The basic concept is that you sign up for a new credit card that has a travel bonus. Usually the terms are something like spend $4,000 in 3 months and you will get 40,000 travel miles or some other reward as a new customer. That would be equivalent to about $400 in free travel. After you have obtained the bonus you close the card and pick a new one with a new bonus.

The problem I had with this system is that I didn't think I could hit the spending thresholds each month since I do not spend that much money consistently. I would need to spend around $1,300 a month or so to hit those limits. Then an unexpected opportunity arose.

I was living in a house with two roommates. We were each paying out landlord $500 a month for rent in cash. We also split the utilities which was another $50 a month. Our landlord unexpectedly needed us to move out so he could rent the house to a friend of his. We were bummed out but liked living together so the 3 of us rented a 3 bedroom apartment down the street for about the same price. I told my roommates that I would like to put the entire rent on my credit card and have them pay me in cash so I could obtain some credit card bonuses. They agreed to do that. Each month I am now putting not only my rent onto a credit card but their rent as well. It comes out to about $1,600 or so each month. With that kind of spending it was been simple to hit those spending targets. One draw back is that the apartment company charges a 1.75% fee to make a credit card transaction each month which comes out to about $28 each month. In the end it still comes out in my favor. 

The first card I tried this on was the Chase Sapphire preferred card. The deal was if you spend $4,000 in the first 3 months they will give you 50,000 chase ultimate rewards points which can be redeemed for cash, travel, hotels or other perks. I easily hit this spend in 2 months and converted my points for a cash back reward of about $550. Nice.

The next card I picked was the Chase United Explorer Mileage Plus card. The deal on this card is that if you spend $4,000 in the first 3 months you receive 40,000 United Mileage plus miles. Additionally, if you spend $8000 in the first 6 months you will receive another 30,000 miles. I hit my first target and received the 40,000 miles. I then used these miles to book a flight that would have cost around $400 on United for $11.20. I'll be shopping around for another credit card as soon as I hit the final target for the current one.

A nice side benefit of this is that my credit score has gone up as well. I have a 100% on time repayment rate and my credit score is hovering around 740. It might dip a bit when I cancel one of my cards to obtain a new one but it will be worth it as long I can keep getting bonuses and not paying interest. I'm not sure how much longer the credit card companies will be offering all these bonuses but getting a couple of free flights a year is big for me so I hope they keep it up. What is also nice is that I am self employed so I can plan my vacations around the times of the year when the flights will be cheaper so the miles can go quite a bit further.

This has been a great system so far. I am looking forward to planning some more trips now that I have a way to drastically reduce the cost of airfare. Combined this with staying at an Airbnb or couch surfing and you have the makings of a very reasonably priced vacation.