My friend who we'll call Lohn Jions fancied himself a pretty sharp salesman. He hails from what he refers to as the dirty south and had a thick drawl. I decided to put his skills to the test.
There was a Little Caesars Pizza down the block. I began telling Lohn that he was a piss poor excuse for a salesman and that I bet he couldn't even get us some free pizza. I may have also made some strong insinuations about his sexual orientation. Now that he was properly motivated, I laid out my plan. We drove to the Little Caesars right as it was about to close.
If you have heard of Little Caesars Pizza then you are acquainted with their flagship product, the HOT and READY. These Pizza's are made in advance and are available for purchase with no notice. Genuineness personified. The only thing smarter would be getting one for free.
Before he went in I explained to Lohn that they must have plenty of those HOT and READY pizza's that they throw out at the end of the evening. Why can't they just give them to us instead of wasting them? He told me that my mom was hot and ready then proceeded to enter the store. I did not hear the conversation since I stayed outside and let him work his magic.
About 5 min later Lohn came out and we walked around to the back door. The manager exited with eight full boxes of pizza which he proceeded to set next to the dumpster. I had to eat a lot of humble pie that week and refer to Lohn as a master salesman from then on.
Total cost: $0 and one stomachache, each day for a week.
