My girlfriend Tina really likes drinking Zivia, which is a zero calorie root beer. Lately the store has been out of stock some weeks so I am constantly on the lookout for the beverage when I am out shopping.
Last week all they had left was a 6 pack that was missing one can. I searched for the missing can but it had disappeared.
My bargain sense began tingling. I assumed they would discount the cans by 1/6th or 16.6% at a minimum but there was a chance for an even larger discount if I played my cards right.
One nice thing about my local grocery store is that the employees are empowered to make deals and discounts on the spot right at the register if it's under a certain dollar amount.
I began to profile the cashiers. Who was likely to give me the deepest discount? Was it the guy with the beard? He might identify with me since I also have a beard. Was it the nice old lady? I could tell her it's gift for my girlfriend. Was it the Teen with a vape dangling around his neck? He probably doesn't care about anything but he also might not want to make the decision and call a manager over. The manager would be the worst since he would have to go by the book.
I took a chance on the teen. I was banking on his obvious apathy. The opportunity to stick it to the man in a minor way might inspire him to really cut the price. I put the cans on the conveyor belt and began my pitch. I decided I could be more persuasive if I spoke to him in his language.
"Yo bro. My bae really heart emojis dis root beer ya feel me? Deez da only 5 cans left up in dis ma. Can ya slice me a dolla dolla drop down fam?"
His response was swift and decisive.
"Bet."
Which I later learned means affirmative.
Instead of the 1/6 off I was expecting which would have saved me a cool $1.03, he gave me half off. that means two free cans and $3.10 off.
Tina was thrilled that I brought home her coveted cans. she also politely listened as I triumphantly regaled her with the tale of my haggling acumen.