Thursday, November 8, 2018

The Half Cup Maneuver

I spend four or five days a week in coffee shops writing trivia questions. Sitting at home never allows me to concentrate on one specific task. I'll be sitting at the table ready to write when I start thinking about doing a load of laundry or one of my roommates needs a small favor. Distractions are around every corner and I can never get into "production mode". It seems easier to block off a couple hours to focus when I am out of the house and then be done for the day.

Each time I go to a coffee shop I feel obligated to buy something. This is a business and the WIFI doesn't pay for itself. Most places have a drip coffee available which is usually the cheapest item that does not have sugar in it although sometimes the soda costs more than a small coffee.

Each cup of coffee is marginally dirt cheap for the company once they have produced it. Sometimes the cost of the cup is more than the cost of the fluid that goes in it.

Before I developed this strategy I would order a large size cup of coffee since that was the amount I wanted to drink. What a fool I was back then.

I discovered that most places will offer you a refill at a discount. Lets say you ordered a large coffee for $3.50. They might offer a refill for any size coffee for 75 cents. If the small coffee is $2.25 and a refill is .75 cents you can get even more coffee for $3.00.

Then I took my coffee game to the next level.

I created a socially engineered system I call "The Half Cup Maneuver." Instead of ordering a full refill I ask for just a half of a cup. In all of the coffee shops I have encountered, not one has a button on their register for a half a cup of coffee. At this point most baristas will just wave me on and say its on the house. If they do come up with some figure like .30 cents I'll pull out my credit card and hand it to them. I never carry cash. It might actually cost the business more to process my payment than they would make at that point and they usually just tell me not to worry about it.

Through this method my small coffee transforms into a large pretty much everywhere I go. The only additional cost was my dignity which is worthless. Not everyone will feel comfortable using this method since it preys on the fact that the baristas live on their tips and need to be accommodating to retain their jobs. If I save $1 every time I go out that is $5 more per week I can spend on beard wax.

Whether my second cup is half empty or half full is irrelevant, it's free.



Update: I found a way to get a free cup of coffee when I am in a pinch.Walk into your local bank branch. For me this is Chase Bank. Go to the indoor ATM and check your checking account balance. After that walk up to the coffee station and help yourself to a complementary coffee. Not sure if every bank offers this but since they try to copy each other in everything else I assume they do.