My check engine light began blinking. Google said that is very bad. Took my car in for a $1,150 repair of the catalytic converter and rear O2 sensor. The car is still in the shop.
That same night I wanted to go perform stand up comedy at two different open mics. The first one I had signed up for in advance. The cost of a ride share was around $30. After spending all that money on another repair I didn't like that idea.
Why not take the bus? I literally had all day. There are 4 bus stops a three minute walk from my apartment because I live in a classy part of town. The cost is only $1.25.
I google mapped out a route. Three minute walk to the #3 line. Then a one and a half hour ride north followed by a 4 minute walk to the bar. Same bus the entire time. Seemed almost too easy.
Inside my backpack I placed some essentials. Two books, note pad for jokes, a pen, thermos of water, thermos of coffee, phone charger, iPod. It was also getting cold so I packed a hat, gloves and neck warmer. I put on my new vest and hiking shoes and departed for comedy glory.
As I was walking to the bus stop I saw the #3 bus pulling through the intersection. Missed it by about 2 minutes. No matter. Another would be by in 30 minutes. I contemplated returning to my apartment to wait but decided to stand at the stop and watch the cars go by. I had a Vaporwave music mix called "Downtown Sparkles" playing so I was in a good mood.
The bus arrived and I put my 5 quarters into the slot. Social distancing was in effect on the bus so everyone had to wear a mask. Half the seats were blocked off and everyone sat as far apart as possible. I pulled out my book and started reading. It was about 4:30pm and the mic stared at 6:30pm.
We were nearing my destination so I pulled the cord. I missed my stop somehow. The bus driver was trying to tell me how to get back to where I needed to go on a different bus but I was too pissed off to listen. The mic started in 30 minutes and I didn't want to be late.
I whipped out my trusty google map. I was 1.6 miles away by foot. Estimated time, 28 minutes. I started walking briskly in the direction of the bar.
Made it with 5 minutes to spare. Guess I'm a fast walker. It was nice to take a break and wait for my set. Since I saved so much money on the bus ride I thought I'd treat myself to a beer.
I asked my friend Patrick who was also the host if I could make a special announcement. If anyone was going to the Lucky Duck open mic after this I would love to catch a ride since I came on the bus. He laughed because he thought I was telling him a joke. Then he laughed harder when he found out it was the truth. "You never tell jokes," he said "you just talk about funny things that actually happen to you." How true.
I did my comedy set which went well. At the end I asked the crowd if anyone was heading to the next mic and I could catch a ride. My friend Spencer volunteered right away.
We had a nice chat about comedy on the way over and he gave me a few suggestions on how I could tighten up my act. I got a lot out of our conversation. It can be hard to give people honest feedback about their performance and it was pleasant to have a conversion with a comedy colleague about technique.
The list at the second mic was long. 60 some comics had signed up for 3 minute sets. The show started at 8pm and I was up near the end, around midnight.
This presented a problem. The bus stops running around midnight which is about the time I would be performing. I was closer to my apartment then the other mic but it was still far. After mapping it out it was about a 7.6 mile walk which would take about 2.5 hours.
Again, I had options. I could ask for another ride. I could get hail a ride share. I thought I'll see how I felt when my second set was over.
My set went well. I had fun and got off the stage. By this time the bar had pretty much emptied out. I didn't want to ask for a ride from someone I didn't know. Maybe it was the beer. Maybe I was still mad about my broken car. Maybe I'm just an idiot.
I decided to walk back.
It was midnight when I left the bar. I started walking. I arrived back at my place around 2:45 am. I am pretty sore today.
I had plenty of time to reflect on my behavior during that walk. Why don't I like to ask for help? It would have been a minor inconvenience to just ask one of the other comics for a ride. I decided to suffer needlessly instead. Why? To punish myself? I can't figure it out.
I rely on my car so much. Every time it breaks I feel like a huge failure. It puts my ability to earn money in jeopardy and threatens my feeling of usefulness. It really gets me. Being in debt bothers me too. Just when I think I'm on top of it I get another large car repair bill. They are connected since the delivery job is causing me to go into debt and ruin my car.
Why can't I walk away from my delivery job? It has put me into debt. I don't make much money. The IRS is after me for irregularities in my income. I know the job is dumb but I keep doing it. It doesn't serve me. It gave me the illusion of freedom in the beginning but now I am going to be a slave to my debt for a while. More deliveries will just bring on more debt. My life would be so much easier if I went out and found a traditional job but something is holding me back. What?
Maybe another long walk is needed before I can figure it out and make a change.