Drinking for Science.

For the last few weeks I have been looking at an adult Santa costume on Amazon. I want to take a fun holiday picture with my girlfriend and thought a Santa suit would be the perfect addition to make the photo memorable. Even with my free shipping through a prime trial membership the cheapest suit that would fit was priced at $100. The price listed starts at $60 for a medium but when you put in XXXL then it jumps up to $100. They should call it a fat tax. For something this frivolous I thought this was too much to spend. There had to be a way I could get it for a discount.

I have begun to do open mic comedy shows around Austin so I joined the Austin comics Facebook group. One of the other comics posted an opportunity to be involved in a science experiment as a test subject. The pay? A $35 Amazon gift card. They needed test subjects to get drunk in their laboratory so they could test out some eye scanning devices. Sounds like a fun little Friday.

I sent in an email with my information and went in the following Friday. As promised they gave me a product code for a free Lyft ride. The driver showed up and I was on my way. She asked me what I was up to and I explained that I was going to go get drunk for a science experiment. Not sure that she actually believed me but she did get me to the right address.

When I arrived they scanned in a picture of my face and made me an official badge.

After being ushered into the lab area, which was the company breakroom, I was weighed and then given my baseline test. This was to measure my reactions while sober. Then the experimenter instructed to follow a bunch of dots on a screen. When finished I was returned to the lab area and given my first drink. It was 135 ml of Vodka with some orange juice mixed in. This is slightly over 3 standard shots of liquor. I was told to finish my drink within 10 minutes then in 20 more minutes the next test would begin.

Before my next round I took a breathalyzer. .033 was the first reading. Then .07 and finally .099 after my third round. I had become legally drunk in the state of Texas. The experimenter told me that I could stay as long as I wanted and enjoy some snacks. They brought in 6 domino's pizzas for the researchers and other participants. I ate an entire pizza along with some cliff bars and a tea. I was chatting with the staff quite a lot which they undoubtedly perceived as rambling. I was certainly "feeling it" and decided it was time to go home for a nap. When I told the experimenter I was ready to head home she presented me with my Amazon gift card and a post-it note with another Lyft promotion code to pay for my ride home. After a semi-coherent conversation with my Lyft driver I ended up in bed for a nice nap. It was about 7pm.

The next day I put my $35 credit toward the purchase of the adult Santa suit. In the end it cost me about $62. It arrived the very next day. They also have a 100% no questions asked return policy so after the pictures I may decide to return it and save even more but even if I keep it I think it was a good idea. You cannot put a price on fun. This must be a psychological bias but I feel like I got a great deal even though I technically paid full price for this. My enjoyment of the costume has been increased by my feeling that I somehow beat the system, even though that mental asthmatic is illogical and only in my head.

Update (1/1/2020)

I ended up sending the suit back. They issued my a 100% refund but it came in the form a Amazon gift card credit on my account instead of cash. I returned it before Christmas but I would have had the entire month of January to decide. Sweet. 

Free pool.

I've taken up swimming laps for exercise. Back in Michigan I always took swimming for granted since there were so many lakes. We lived on a lake when I was a kid so we went swimming almost every day during the summer. Here is Texas there is plenty of warm weather but no water. Lucky for me there are lots of pools available in Austin run by the city.

Each pool is run a bit differently. Many of them are neighborhood pools that are outdoor unheated pools that anyone can use for free. Some of the pools charge an admission. This is no problem most of the year since there is plenty of places to go for free during warm weather. The problem starts when it gets cold out. 

During the winter the city closes almost all of its pools. There are only 4 open during the winter. 3 of them charge an admission fee of $5. This seems like a small amount until you start swimming 3 times a week. That's $15 a week and $60 a month. My membership to planet fitness is only $10 a month.

There is one pool that does not charge admission called Big Stacy. The reason is that they allow Homeless people to come in and use the showers for free. They receive a government grant that covers their operating expenses because of this. There is usually not a line for a lane since most of the people are not swimming. Last time I waited in line for a shower and a guy came out with his dog. He had given his dog a shower too. There was hair all over the shower and I decided to just dry off and skip it.

One fine day I decided that it was time for my swim. I drove up to Big Stacy only to find that they were closed for the month for routine maintenance. The sign also said that I could go to the Bartholomew Park Pool which would be free for the month to accommodate people such as myself who had become addicted to their swimming fix.

I drove 25 minutes in rough traffic to this pool. When I arrived they were closed. The winter hours were from 1pm to 5pm and it was only 11pm. At this point I had 2 options. Burn two hours at a coffee shop reading and fooling around on the internet or I could drive to another pool and spend $5 on the admission. Going home without a swim was not an option. 

As I drove over to Deep Eddy I began to concoct the story that I would tell the person taking the admission at the desk. I would tell them my tale of woe about how much of a hassle it had been to finally arrive at an open pool and implore them to allow me to enter the pool for free. It was also about 45 degrees out which is unusual for Texas so I was not even certain they would be open. When I arrived I had this elaborate story all worked and put my most persuasive look on out only to find that it was off season so they were not even charging an admission fee. Score!

I successfully swam my laps and felt great afterwards. All it cost me was 4 hours of hassle and a quarter tank of gas. I learned to call ahead so I can avoid swimming through traffic all day.

New Belt(s)

For years I had a nice leather belt. Lately I started losing a little weight so the belt needed to be modified. I put in three new holes to make it tighter over a year period. This produced a small sense of accomplishment every day when I would get dressed. I would look at the belt each morning and feel good about the progress I had made. Sadly the belt started to fall apart around the buckle. It finally broke. It was beyond a simple repair and needed to be replaced.

I usually wear my shirt loose around the waist. No one actually sees my belt when I'm walking around. All it needs to do is keep my pants up. Purely utilitarian.

Walmart had belts for sale from anywhere between $9.95 and $14.95. I bought a stretchy belt that was reversible for $12.99. Black on one side, brown on the other. That's like two for the price of one. Problem solved. For about a month. Then the belt started to fall apart. The two layers began to come apart and the buckle began to get rusty. What a piece of junk.

Now I needed a new belt already. I felt like I wasted my money on the last one so there was no way I was going to return to Walmart. I still didn't want to spend a lot so I drove to a Ross clothing store. This is a discount chain so I was sure I could obtain a cheap belt. I found a nice belt by Steve Harvey for $14.99. It was also reversible and made of leather this time. After waiting in line for 20 minutes I took off my old belt and threw it in the trash right in front of the store. Once I put on my new belt I discovered that I had bought the wrong size since it was a few inches too short. After sheepishly exchanging it for a belt of the correct size I was on my way. 

The very next day I was going out to lunch with my girlfriend. I showed her my new belt. She agreed that it looked sharp. As we were getting out of the car I heard a popping noise. My belt had broken. The part that spins to allow the belt to be reversible had snapped. I took it off and left it in my car while we had lunch. I had to physically hold my pants up as we walked back and forth from the restaurant.

Lucky for me there was a Target across the street from the restaurant. I picked out a new belt. Brown, stretchy and not reversible this time. The sticker price was $19.95 but when I arrived at the register it was on clearance so it ended up costing $7.95 plus tax. So far this current belt has been going strong with no signs of damage for two weeks now. 

If you add it all up I have spent about $40 and 3 hours on belts in the last two months. I also suffered the mild embarrassment of my belt breaking. Not to mention the anger I feel at being suckered by shoddy belts. My original belt lasted for years. These others have been a huge disappointment. If I took all the money I spent on inferior belts and spent it on a higher quality belt this could have all been a non-issue.

In the future I need to remember to include a vision of the bigger picture. At each incremental step I made a logical decision to save money. When you look at the series of events as a whole my actions seem idiotic. This comes up a lot in sales. "Mr. Customer, are you buying for price or value?" It can be hard to know. The most expensive item isn't always the best value either if it is over priced. It is easier than ever to buy crappy merchandise and then just return it when it breaks. You get your money back but you do not get your time back.

I don't really have a good way to determine how to get the most value out of each situation at this time. It is something I will be reflecting on this month.