Sunday, May 24, 2020

Satisfaction Guaranteed II

Saturday is my cheat day so I can eat anything. A few weekends ago I decided it would be fun to make some fried chicken wings. It's pretty easy. I looked up a recipe on google then went to the HEB and bought all the supplies. There was a section where they recommended buying a thermometer so you could keep the fry oil at a constant 350 as much as possible. They had a candy thermometer for sale which cost about $5.


I took it all over to my girlfriends apartment and got to cooking. After breading the wings and getting them ready to fry I put the oil in a sauce pan and turned up the heat. The oil heated up quickly. I put the thermometer into the oil and waited. It only took a few seconds for the thermometer to show it had reached 350, but then it shot past that and kept going. Before I knew what was happening, I heard a pop. I looked pulled out the thermometer and it had looked like it exploded near the bottom. The external shell was fine but the inner tube had burst near where the led balls were. Lucky it didn't crack and spill out into the oil because it could have become contaminated.

A few days later I decided I would try my luck at returning the broken thermometer. I did not have a receipt for the item but I did have the credit card I used to buy it which had worked in the past. The regular service desk was closed since it was in the evening so I stood in a regular check out line. That's when I spotted my first obstacle. There was a posted sign listing items that would not be eligible for return during the quarantine. I scanned the list and Thermometer was listed. Top right corner where anyone could see it.


Then I remembered my days working as a bagger at a grocery store when I was 14. I never even glanced at company memos. I was pretty sure that these cashiers maintained the same policy. There was still a chance. I presented the broken thermometer to the cashier and explained that I would like to return it since it was broken. Never said that I broke it but that it was broken. Using the passive voice. The cashier called the manager and we went through the same dance again. Clearly the entire interaction was really interesting to him because he began to yawn. He asked me for my card to verify that I had indeed purchased it at an HEB. Then he said the magic words. Would you like cash or to have the amount returned to your card? Success! HEB, you're too good to me.


Sounds to drive to.

I want something to listen to in the car. I do not want to pay for it. The eternal struggle as the ancient  Greeks referred to it. There are plenty of free music services available. The radio is free. They extract their payment through forcing the listener to absorb advertising. There is a cost to everything.

My solution was to buy a thumb drive for my KIA and load up a bunch of MP3s. The cost to this is that it takes a little time and knowledge. It can be a pain to organize all the files and make sure they are compatible with my car. Initially I put a bunch of .wav, .wma and .ogg onto the device and then wondered why I couldn't find any of my files. What a fool I was. The MP3 seems to work so I have stuck with that. Other file types can be converted. Now I just have to track down some files. 


Any video you watch on YouTube can be covered into an MP3 with a third party website. I spend a lot of time driving around can listen to a song that is an hour or longer. The bulk of my content consists of Podcasts such as The Joe Rogan Experience, Comedians Comedian and Bigger pockets, as well as some Vaporwave tracks. Some JRE podcasts can last 3 or more hours. Perfect for those long days of delivery.

Is there a famous person you follow? I'm sure they have a TED talk on YouTube that you haven't had time to watch. Download it an put in on your thumb drive. Maybe you want to learn about world history? Audio book? It can all be converted into an MP3 and put into your car for free if you know where to look. 

Should I be concerned that I'm not learning about the latest and greatest whatever thing is on the market? No. There are so many ways we are being advertised to today that if something is really important and interesting, it will find its way to you. We only have so much time and attention in this life. We shouldn't just give it to some advertiser. Give me a dollar, then I'll subject myself to your advertisement. Right now people have it backwards. Pay for a subscription and then you can have an ad. free experience. As if that was possible. There are advertisements right in the content.

Very few people can live an advertisement free existence in America anymore. The best we can do is try to keep out as many as we can. That's what I like about Vaporwave music. I turn on an hour long collection of beats and random sounds then it takes me away into imagination land. I don't need another advertisement for Jared, the Galleria of Jewelry in my life. Ever.