There were so many possible solutions online. I decided to go look for a simple elegant seat cover. When I arrived at the local AutoZone they had an entire shelf dedicated to seat covers. They all looked like something either a race car driver or someone who wished they could be in the next fast and furious movie would think is cool. They were also designed for bucket seats and I have a huge hybrid bench seat. I asked the clerk were people who have more of a daily driver might go to get a seat cover. He told me that it might be easier to build a time machine, travel back to 1998 and buy one there than to try and find one locally.
Time travel sounded like a good idea so I pulled out my smartphone and typed in Kmart on my google map.
I would have to try the next best thing and headed over to Walmart. They had more of an every man car seat cover selection. It came down to something that can only be described as a seat bib and a net of wooden beads. I decided to try the bib option. It was a little small for my seat but the harness part was made of elastic so I was certain it would fit. Out in the parking lot I put the seat cover on and sat down to see how it felt. One of the elastic straps immediately snapped off. Back to the drawing board. I walked back in and got a full refund. I didn't even need to make up some story about faulty merchandise. They just took it back no questions asked and went back to picking their noses.
I then proceeded to forget the entire thing. Until today.
I went for a swim at the free local pool. They should really call it the Hobo showering area that happens to have a pool attached. Swimming outdoors in December is a treat for me since its snowing in my hometown so I cannot complain too much. I was about halfway through my laps when I got to thinking about my seat again. I need something that I can clean periodically that will fit over the seat. A T-shirt? No, too trashy. How about a sweater? What would I do with the sleeves? I don't know if I was over caffeinated or under oxygenated but an idea hit me like an endorphin taser to the brain.
How about a vest?
I couldn't think of a reason why it wouldn't work so I drove over to the closest Goodwill to find a vest. I found one right away for $5 that I thought would fit around my seat. It had some zippered pockets on the front but I just decided that I could just put it in backwards so that the zippers would not irritate my back. That way people in the back seat could also use the pockets to store some small knickknacks. I suppose I could also put napkins and plastic forks in their too in case anyone needed those. Maybe some tiny roadside flares.
I was all set to purchase my snappy new vest/seat cover when I saw the line. There was only one flustered looking woman running the cash register. People were giving her a hard time and acting real snippy. One woman came up and asked the clerk if she could be let into the fitting room. The Frazzled clerk said that she would be over there as soon as she could but she had to check everyone else in line out first. After witnessing this I walked over to the clerk and told her that I would let the customer into the fitting room myself if she would loan me the key. I would have preferred to do just about anything other than stand in line.
When I returned to my place in line after letting the woman into the fitting room it was just in time to check out. As I handed my vest and the dressing room key back to the clerk she said "Well what do you know, looks like this item is half off today". She winked at me and we both laughed. We had just colluded to defraud the Goodwill for half the price of my vest. That's what I call a good woman. If I hadn't seen a ring on her finger I would have asked her out right then and there. I should have asked if she had a sister. Something to think about for next time.
Problem solved.
