No matter how cheap a person strives to be, you still have to eat. That is until the day that someone figures out how upload our brains to the internet. One day a lift operator of great industry and vision came up with a solution. No one knows if this person of myth and legend really existed, but the stories live on in the hushed whispers of hungry liftys who stand in awe of his genius.
It is called the Lifty Sandwich. If you find yourself dining on this particular food stuff, I recommended taking a serious personal inventory to try and decide how you screwed up so bad. The recipe is very simple but not paying for any of the ingredients can be considered morally ambiguous at best. Find any restaurant that serves soup. Tell the server that you have low blood sugar and that you need a couple of packets of Saltine Crackers otherwise you might have a seizure. They will give as many packets as you can carry to avoid a lawsuit.
Next, go down to your local fast food chain. They must serve french fries as you are looking for some ketchup packets. Shamelessly flirt with who ever is working behind the counter. Man, Woman, other, doesn't matter. After about 5 min of this they will non-verbally indicate that it's time to leave or possibly slip you their number depending on the situation. On the way out, fill your pockets with Ketchup packets. Put the Ketchup on a cracker and then place another cracker on top. Tastes just like a hotdog with just a pinch of regret.
