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Submitted by Chet Cheapskate
4/6/2017
4/6/2017
Wake up to the savings
Your early morning alarm clock is abuzz, signifying a new day in the doldrums of your life. As you begin to stir around your house looking for your lost work shoes and name tag you begin to realize your ornery and could use a breakfast snack. Alas as you pour yourself a bowl of Raisin Bran you
realize your milk is 10 days past expiration and rather curdled. Scrap that plan. Your stomach grumbles, you should eat breakfast but your running low on time and options. You decide to pick up something on the road, McDonalds has dollar McMuffins. You could go thru the drive thru on the way to work. This is fine idea beside the all the Cholesterol and the fact it still cost a dollar.
Well fret not, a cheaper and healthier solution awaits. It's known as the continental breakfast and is proudly served at basically every hotel chain. The perfect one stop shop for all your breakfast tastes. Cereals with fresh milk, waffles, fruits, yogurts, donuts all supplied by your local hotels front desk person whom unless works for FBI has no F'in clue who you are. And have no reason not to believe you're Joe from room 16.
So pull up around back, maybe adorn a bathrobe and maybe an imitation room key for effect and feast away my friends! There may be no such thing as free lunch but you damn sure better believe there's free breakfast!
Signing off for now
-Chet Cheapskate
Submitted by Chet Cheapskate
3/25/2017
Acquire Currency, Slay Vajayjay
Say you wake up in the morning with no job, no car and no money..It becomes a predicament to accomplish the latter scenario of this blog's title. So what if I told you about a full proof plan to acquire currency that doesn't require you to have a job, nor does it involve picking up returnable cans and taking them to Michigan. So you also are able to maintain some self respect.
The plan involves an all expense paid trip to the local Indian casino and an eagle eye mentality.
First you will need to do some research on how to catch a free ride. In this case in an effort to increase amount of visitors the casino offers a free shuttle service from local hotels. The shuttle arrives on a fairly consistent basis but does require you call and notify concierge at the casino that you are needing a ride. Fortunately on of the hotels on the route is near my house so I can just walk to
the bus stop and hitch a ride..This is step one.
Step two: upon arriving at the casino take your wallet and verify it contains zero dollars. This is essential because we don't want you spending any of your hard earned money.. I mean this is a casino, the impulse to spend is there. Now the first order of business, which is normally a good barometer of how successful your mission will be is to locate the high limit area. Here you will find slot machines that cost $50 maybe even $100 dollars just to spin the reels. This is where you let the eagle eye free.
Located on many of the vacated machines you may see the cash out button illuminated, this means the machine has money on it that wasn't extracted by the previous user. Often times it's a denomination below the minimum bet of the machine but many times a value just short of the necessary denomination to spin the reels. In the case of a $100 minimum bet, $75 isn't too shabby.. Yes I am insinuating rich bastards will leave $75 in cold hard cash on a machine because in their mind (apparently) have run out of credits. This is where you come in and extract the remaining currency from the machine. I recommend scanning the entire casino floor doing the same method. You may only find small denominations say .10 , .25 cents a pop but this adds up.
Do a walk thru and then take a break, drink a free soda and continue the eagle eye process all day long until you hear the announcement about the final shuttle heading back to the hotel. Cash out your findings and flash your sick stash of hundreds in front of a sexy vixen and wallah, currency acquired and time to get it on. I hope this plan was insightful and you can reap the rewards of your labors as I have done so often. Signing off for now. -Chet Cheapskate
