Discount Chicken.

Cooking is a creative outlet I enjoy. I seek out novel food items then attempt to make them at home. It saves money while providing tasty variety in my day. When I see something unusual my mind begins to plan how I will make it myself.

During a delivery a customer ordered chicken livers and chicken gizzards. Then they asked for gizzards only if possible. What part of the chicken is a gizzard? As a seasoned trivia host, I was embarrassed that I had no idea. Apparently, the gizzard is a muscle on stomach of the chicken. They use for grinding during digestion. This person wanted to eat 12 of these.  

Maybe they know something I don't. It sounds weird and gross but further research said that the chicken gizzard is a very healthy part of the chicken. Not only high in protein and low in fat but also contains important vitamins such as B-12, Iron and zinc. I was sold so I went of and bought a package of chicken gizzards at the grocery store. Like most unusual animal parts, these were not very expensive. only $1.44 a pound. Cheap Cheep.

I decided the best way to prepare them would be in the cast iron skillet. I baked the gizzards with a sliced onion and some Cajun seasoning at 350 degrees for a half hour. When I pulled them out, they didn't look done so I put them in for another half hour. An hour in total. 

They were a disaster. I bit into my first gizzard and it was unpleasant. It did not taste like chicken at all. More like beef. Beef flavored chewing gum would have been an decent description. They were not good. I briefly considered throwing them directly into the trash. Then the savings region of my brain kicked in. That would be like throwing $2 on the ground. I wrestled back and forth internally. These were not edible in their current condition, but don't waste them. What to do?

They were too tough to be considered a food product. I decided to compromise. I would put the gizzards into the instant pot and slow cook them for 8 hours. If after that they were still inedible, I would throw them out. My various brain regions agreed that this was a wise course of action.

I went about my day and came back in the evening with pretty low expectations for my chicken gizzard experiment. I bit into my first gizzard and it was surprisingly good. Still not what I would consider chicken but more like a cut of sirloin. I bit into a second one and almost cracked a tooth. There was a piece of bone or something in that one. After deciding to chew more carefully, I put some in a bowl with a bit of hot sauce and had a pleasant dinner.  

Often my way of gauging a food project is, would I make it again on purpose? I think I would. I wouldn't make it for company because it would be just a bit too unusual for most people but I could see slicing the gizzards up thin and putting them on some spicy tacos on a bed of shredded cabbage. 

Cheaper than going to a movie and much more interesting. I now have more knowledge about chicken anatomy than yesterday which also expands my ability to write trivia questions effectively.  

Winner winner, chicken diner? Sort of.

Passing the Bucks.

The solution to debt is obviously more debt. Early this month it became apparent that I would not be able to keep up with my current debt load without incurring interest. My delivery work has slowed a bit but really the problem is the amount I owe is too high. I burned through 80% of my savings trying to keep up but the debt has been persistent. 

I have a few options at my disposal. I have the Interest Free Loan Idea and the Return Loan Idea which have worked fine up until now. I could have decided to take some money out of my IRA. I have regretted doing this in the past and consider it a final resort.  I could also ask members of my family for a small loan. They wouldn't mind but I'd like to save that type of favor for a crisis, not an inconvenience. This debt feels more like an annoyance. 

Luckily for me during all the crazy events of 2020 I have been able to maintain a stable credit score. I'm hovering around 729. I check my score once a week on Nerd Wallet. www.nerdwallet.com. They list different credit card offers that you can qualify for based on your current credit score. I opened a section called 0% APR balance transfer cards. 

There are different types of transfer cards. Make sure you read the fine print. I signed up for a card from Citi Bank. The offer was a no fee card. If you transfer a balance, there will be no interest charged for the first 18 months. The cost is a 3% transfer fee. I qualified for a $3,600 credit limit after I was approved for the card. 

I transferred $3,000 from a couple of cards I have at Chase Bank. The total cost of doing this was $90. So for that $90 I have a year and a half to repay this debt. What they don't make obvious is that if you do not pay the full amount in the period, they charge you for all the interest for the entire year and a half at a rate of 20%. Gulp.

I essentially converted my short term high interest debt into long term no interest debt (minus fee). I will have to pay at a minimum $172 a month to service this debt.  

Why would the bank do this? Interest rates are at all time lows. They want the $90. Statistically a certain number of people will default on this and be forced to pay the huge pile of back interest which is also free money for the bank assuming they get paid some day. 

This is a reasonable solution to my debt problem in the mid term. I need to start looking into the future and ask myself: Why am I having these debt problems? This debt can be tied directly to my delivery job. 100% of the money I owe currently is from massive car repairs. Now that the car is fixed I can pay for the repair, by further breaking my car. 

My initial plan to address this negative cycle was to auto deposit $50 a week into a savings account for repairs. Turns out that amount is not enough. 

I enjoy my delivery job. I like the flexibility, the freedom and the autonomy. The problem is I can't just be sending all my pay to the auto repair shop. 

 I was also recently popped by the IRS for "Irregularities in my income" which is also a problem tied directly to my work as a delivery driver. I'll be able to sort that problem out by it wouldn't exist if I had a more traditional income. 

I have to face facts. It's time to find a different source of income. These problems are going to continue as long as I continue as a delivery driver. There must be some job out there that has all the freedom, flexibility and autonomy I want but doesn't slowly grind my car into dust. I just need to use my imagination. It would be challenging to spend less money. I need to begin making more. 

Free Parking Map.

I despise paying for parking. Most people feel the same. I grew up in a small town were free parking was everywhere. Here in Austin it is easy to find free parking, until you venture downtown. I avoid going downtown when I can because of the parking cost. It feels like wasting money. 

The problem is, I have started purusing stand up comedy. Many of the comedy open mics are downtown. It is too far to reasonably walk from my tiny studio apartment. The bus could take me there but that is not free either and too time consuming. Obviously at the level of complete amateur comedian these shows do not pay. I have been going to 6-8 open mics a week. I usually buy one or two over priced drinks. If between parking and drinking I spend $20 per show that's between $120-$160 a week spent on my comedy habit. Too much. 

To cut costs in the drinking department I have begun to pregame a bit before each show. The problem with this is I have to drive my car to the show. Instead of drinking 2 beers and then driving to a venue I pour a tall boy into a thermos which I place in the trunk of my Kia Soul. When I arrive at the venue I do a quick discrete chug.

I have identified a few places to park for free just by driving around. There was a free strip of parking over by the grave yard on east 7th but the city just put up meters. Dastardly. There is a free strip of parking up by a church on east 4th street and another on east 10th.

Another complication is the neighborhoods around the downtown area don't want industrious individuals like myself parking in front of their houses. There are required resident parking stickers for certain areas. You can find a spot in a non-resident area a short walk from downtown.

It would be nice if someone created an unofficial free parking map for the area around downtown Austin. After doing a search I could find no such list. I have decided to make one using google maps. That way when a new open mic springs up in the future I will have a lead on a free parking space. 

How will I gather the data? I know of a few places I can mark on the map already. I have the data for where and when the open mics are so I put that on the map as blue dots. Then I marked the free parking spots I already know in green. Now I can map out distance and walking time between them.

 

It will take a lot of leg work to identify more viable free parking spots. I cannot think of an easy way to gather this data except to explore the area on foot. When I identify a free parking space I will make a note to add it to the map. I wouldn't want to walk more than 20 minutes because of time concerns. I can use the data points I have already created to see if new spots are worth adding to the database. 

The ideal time to locate a new parking space would be after a show. I can take a different way back and see if there are any free spots on the way. Then I will not feel rushed or be so focused on trying to remember my comedy material.

When a new open mic springs up I can add it to the list too. Then see which parking spots are the closest.

Link to the unofficial free parking map:

https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?mid=1WIY7GOWOHCP-VRmHXkKcRHPE0wwpdrV5&usp=sharing

Happy future free parking to you!

Intrest Free Loan 2: A bad idea.

 I came upon this idea purely by accident. 

My car would not start one morning. I fired up YouTube to diagnose the problem since I know nothing about cars. After watching a few videos I determined that the starter needed to be replaced. Unfortunately it was Sunday so all the repair shops were closed. 

My former roommate recommended a friend who runs a mobile auto repair service. I texted him that I would like to have my starter replaced. He said he might be able to do it the following day. I told him I would walk to the nearest auto zone and buy a starter so he could install it right away the next day. 

At Auto Zone, they told me that they would have to have the part delivered from another store. Which would arrive tomorrow since it was still Sunday. I charged the $300 part to my credit card and walked home happy knowing I had taken some action. 

The next day when I woke up and the mobile mechanic said he couldn't make it. I called a tow truck instead. A truck arrived an hour later. He asked me if he could try starting the car. It started right up. Whoops. I paid the $45 service fee and drove to the nearest shop before it had a chance to die again. 

I told the mechanic that the starter was not working but he wanted to test it. Turns out it was the battery. Whoops. I paid the shop $38 dollars and drove over to Auto Zone to buy a battery. A tiny woman took out my old battery and installed a new one. The final emasculation. I was able to return my starter for a full refund placed back onto my credit card. 

The interesting thing about this was that when the refund processed a few days later I received the amount back on my card but it also reduced my outstanding balance for the month. This credit came back on my card as a payment. Effectively kicking the cost of my starter into next month. I began to wonder if this strategy could be used in the future to delay paying back a portion of my credit cards and therefore maintain an interest free loan on that amount. 

I was pretty excited about the concept so I posted a long explanation on Reddit.com in the r/frugal group. The blow back was swift. Almost 100% negative. The post was taken down after a few days by the moderators but the comments can still be viewed at with this link. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/Frugal/comments/j3b95l/no_intrest_loan_idea/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 

The general consensus was that this was at the least an irresponsible way to manage your money and at worst possibly fraudulent. That I was spending outside my means. Normal rhetoric of the alt-frugal camp. I tried to explain that I was a true believer in the frugal lifestyle. That these were special circumstances. I was drowned out by the digital mob.    

After taking their views into account I decided to try it anyway. I would buy an item around the $500 dollar range and return it a few days later. My first step was to find a company with a very loose return policy. The Apple store has a no questions asked 14 day return policy. That sounded good so I drove up to the mall. My plan was to buy an Apple watch. If the sales person questioned me about it I would say it was a gift. 

At the Apple store I was turned away. There was a big sign that said by appointment only. I asked the person standing up front if I could make an appointment. She said it must be done online and that it might take a week to secure an opening. This was a problem. I would need to make an appointment to buy the item and then another to return the item. It was possible that they wouldn't even have any appointments available during the 14 day return period. Dejected, I walked back to my car.  

I took a look at Targets return policy. It was complicated and stated that you may receive store credit. Not a great option because I didn't want to end up with the item. Finally I settled on Walmart. They have a very generous 90 day full refund return policy. 

I decided to look for a kitchen appliance. My thinking was that in the event they will not give me a refund it is something I would use in the future since I enjoy cooking. I picked up this mixer for about $410 with tax. My plan was to wait a few days until the charge clears on my card and then go return it.

After waiting 2 days I returned to the Walmart where I had purchased the mixer to return it. This was in the morning so luckily I did not have to wait in line. I told the clerk that I wanted to make a return and handed her the receipt. She asked me if anything was wrong with the item. I told her that I had not opened the box. She ended up flipping the box over to verify that the mixer was still inside and had not been replaced with heavy rocks. After she was satisfied she issued me my refund. 

 Success! The credit showed up on my card a few days later in full. It also successfully pushed that amount onto the next billing cycle. 

 Upon reflection, this was probably not a very smart thing to do. While technically not illegal in any way it certainly falls into a grey area. My bank could decide that they don't like it and cancel my lines of credit. I've spent the last 4 or 5 years building up my credit. Being flagged for something borderline fraudulent would not be great. In the future I need to take the advice of the friendly digital Reddit mob. Build up an emergency fund so that when the unexpected does happen I have money available to cover it. That and never let your car break down.

Intrest Free Loan.

 No one likes large unexpected expenses. Recently I had two unexpected car repairs in a single month. One for $2,700 and the other for $500. Not fun. Pulling $3,200 out of thin air can be a problem on short notice.

I could have just taken money out of my emergency fund. I auto-deposit $100 a week into a savings account which has built up to about $3,000 for this type of thing. This felt like more of an inconvenience than an emergency so I put it on one of my credit cards. 

Luckily I have good credit. My score is hovering around 730. I have access to about $25,000 in credit  limits. The problem is these cards have high rates averaging near 18%. Putting this bill on the credit card means I have a month and change to come up with the money before I start incurring interest. Thus far I have paid all my credit cards in full each month and avoided any interest payments. This keeps my borrowing expenses low. 

Instead of paying interest I created a system where my gig job doing deliveries unknowingly extends me an interest free loan. I came up with the idea after reading about how Warren Buffet uses float in his insurance businesses. Float is money that is paid in as premiums on insurance policies and is later paid out for claims. The company can do whatever they want with the money before it needs to pay claims. If they are smart they invest it.

My system is simple. I have a gig job where I deliver food. The company I deliver for has a unique feature where I as the driver pay for all the deliveries with a debit card issued by the company. I submit a picture of the receipt and the customer is charged for the item and a delivery fee.   

Sometimes drivers lose their cards. So they added an option to pay with your own card. This feature allows the driver to pay for items themselves however they choose and the company turns around and pays out a cash reimbursement. I exploit this feature to generate cash flow to pay down my credit cards. 

I like to think of it like a debt snake that is eating it's own tail. Once my credit card locks in an amount for the month, I can charge more money on that card which will not be locked in until the following month. Then I pay for all my customers purchases up to the amount of the outstanding balance. When the company issues me a cash reimbursement I turn around and pay off my current month's balance. 

With this method I can extend the amount of time I can carry a balance indefinitely without paying interest. This does not reduce the balance, just the amount of time I now have to pay off my outstanding balance. As a bonus I get points on my card which I can also use to pay down the balance. Usually around $40 bucks a month so nothing to get excited about but still free money.

Now instead of scrambling to come up with the cash, I can pay off the repairs in a leisurely manner. I slowly shrink my debt snake over time using the income from doing deliveries. Each month I will need to charge a smaller amount of customer items to cover the remaining balance.

This system has a few potential pit falls. The cash flow I earn from deliveries and charging customer items will stop abruptly if my car needs another expensive repair. If my car goes down for an extended period I will be in a pinch. Also my credit score tends to drop when I happen to have a higher credit utilization rate than normal. My company could figure out what I'm doing and prevent me from doing it in the future for some reason. Other than that the whole thing feels pretty slick. 

Unexpected expenses are a part of life. Access to credit and some savings cannot prevent bad things from happening but will certainly smooth out the impact. At least financially. There is a lot of freedom in not having to worry about money. By putting a few systems in place you can spend your valuable time on more important things.

Hummus Manufacturing.

Hummus is delicious but a bit expensive for my taste. I started to wonder. Why don't people make their own at home? Why don't I make it at home? Garbanzo beans are cheap. How hard can it be? Turns out it's not that hard but there are plenty of upfront expenses to make that first batch. If you are only going to make one batch, forget about it. 

Online I reviewed some recipes. Each one emphasized the need for a food processor. They stressed it was essential to making it the right consistency. I was planning to mash it into a bowl with a spoon like an animal but apparently that is bad form. I asked my girlfriend if she already had one by chance I could borrow. She did not. I asked if she knew anyone who had one that she could borrow and that I could then borrow from her. Again, she did not. Looks like I would need to buy one. 

I searched around until I found this reasonably priced model. It was $30. The cost of my discount hummus was adding up quickly. It also slices and shreds things so hopefully I can get some extra utility to offset the cost.

 

 

I already had most of the other ingredients at home. dry Garbanzo Beans, Lemon Juice, Minced Garlic, Salt, Spices, Olive Oil. All I would need was the Tahini. This presented a problem. I went to the store and the shelves were bare. I went to 3 different stores and it was all the same thing, no Tahini. I asked a manager if there was more Tahini in the back or if they would be getting some soon. His response, "What's Tahini?" I thanked him for his time and briskly walked out.

Finally, I called a 4th store and they carried it. It was even in stock. The "Foodie" as they are called at this store even walked back to the aisles to confirm that yes, they had plenty.  It was at a more upscale grocery store that is basically a clone of Whole Foods. That meant the Tahini would be of the organic farm to table hand crafted fair trade variety. Which all translates as more expensive. There were two options available. Both were $7 a jar. I decided to buy both since I had spent so much time running around town. One was a Greek style Tahini and the other was made from smoked seeds so they would each have a distinct flavor. 

 

 

I had everything together and began putting it all into the food processor. I didn't realize how loud the food processor is so next time I'll be using it during the day instead of at 11 pm as a courtesy to my neighbors. It was easy and I had made about three standard hummus containers worth (12 oz) of homemade hummus. If I had decided to buy that much hummus at the store it would have cost around $12. I had spent close to $60 to put all the ingredients and equipment together. Then if you factor in all the time. I spent an hour researching hummus recipes. I spent an hour looking at various food processors. I cooked a bag of dry garbanzo beans in my Instant Pot which took another hour. I spent 4 hours driving around town searching for Tahini. I spent 20 minutes actually making the hummus. Also consider, there was no guarantee that I would get it right the first time. I have some experience cooking but am in no way a chef so I could have screwed something up and had to throw out the entire ruined batch.

From a purely economic perspective this is not an economically efficient activity. This graph shows the cost of each batch, which I worked out to be about $1.51 in materials. Then I amortized the cost of the food processor across all the batches to get a cost per batch estimate. Turns out I'll be breaking even around the 11 batch point. After that each batch I produce will be cheaper to produce at home as long as you don't include my labor costs. If you did it would push out the BEB (Break Even Batch) out further. Clearly making hummus at home isn't in the best interest of the average person.

 

Of course there are other non-economic reasons to do things. I enjoy cooking and it is a creative outlet that I enjoy. For me this brings in additional entertainment utility that helps offset some of the cost. I was proud to share some of my homemade hummus with my girlfriend. There is also the benefit of tailoring the product to my taste. Maybe the wider consumer market doesn't like as much garlic as I do so I couldn't buy a heavy garlic version of my favorite hummus because it simply isn't made. Not everyone has the time either. Luckily I do. 

 

Turned out pretty good. Ten batches to go.

 

 

Refrigerated.

While doing research for trivia I needed to find out if it cost less in electricity if your refrigerator is full. There are two main ways to save money with your refrigerator. The first is to open the door as little as possible. Every time you open the door to take a look you are spilling nickels on the floor. This makes me wonder why they don't have a clear door like at the supermarket. Then you could look in before you open it up. Now I get everything out of the refrigerator all at once and then put it all back at once so that I am reducing the amount of time the door is open.

Turns out it is also cheaper to maintain the temperature in the refrigerator if there is less empty space. The article refereed to the food items acting as thermal ballast. Once the item is brought down to the temperature of the refrigerator then it helps maintain that temperature. They stated that each time you add an item there would be a cost to cool it but then it will help prevent future fluctuation.

I live alone so I am the only one using an entire family sized refrigerator. Look at all this empty space. I probably spent a fifty cent piece to take this photo.

I could just pack it up with a months worth of food but I like to go shopping every couple of days so my food is fresher. To prevent the expense of food waste I like to buy only what I think I can eat in a few days and then eat all of it. The more you try to buy ahead the more likely things will go bad or you just don't feel like eating it before it does. I could also freeze more things. The covid-19 has made me modify this practice a little bit. I now have a supply of canned and dry food in my pantry but the level of ready food in my refrigerator has remained about constant.

I decided the solution is to fill the empty space up with containers of water. I don't want to go out and buy money saving water containers because that would defeat the purpose of saving money. There were a few bags I had laying around the house that could be filled with water and used for making ice in the freezer. 

That bag of water will soon transform into a money saving block of ice. I will continue to fill up the freezer with such bags but leave enough room for my frozen food. In the refrigerator I am going to collect some jugs and fill those up with water too. Probably not a bad idea to have some extra water handy.

For the first time in years I cannot wait to open up my utility bill next month and see how much of a difference this will make.

Satisfaction Guaranteed II

Saturday is my cheat day so I can eat anything. A few weekends ago I decided it would be fun to make some fried chicken wings. It's pretty easy. I looked up a recipe on google then went to the HEB and bought all the supplies. There was a section where they recommended buying a thermometer so you could keep the fry oil at a constant 350 as much as possible. They had a candy thermometer for sale which cost about $5.

I took it all over to my girlfriends apartment and got to cooking. After breading the wings and getting them ready to fry I put the oil in a sauce pan and turned up the heat. The oil heated up quickly. I put the thermometer into the oil and waited. It only took a few seconds for the thermometer to show it had reached 350, but then it shot past that and kept going. Before I knew what was happening, I heard a pop. I looked pulled out the thermometer and it had looked like it exploded near the bottom. The external shell was fine but the inner tube had burst near where the led balls were. Lucky it didn't crack and spill out into the oil because it could have become contaminated.

A few days later I decided I would try my luck at returning the broken thermometer. I did not have a receipt for the item but I did have the credit card I used to buy it which had worked in the past. The regular service desk was closed since it was in the evening so I stood in a regular check out line. That's when I spotted my first obstacle. There was a posted sign listing items that would not be eligible for return during the quarantine. I scanned the list and Thermometer was listed. Top right corner where anyone could see it.

Then I remembered my days working as a bagger at a grocery store when I was 14. I never even glanced at company memos. I was pretty sure that these cashiers maintained the same policy. There was still a chance. I presented the broken thermometer to the cashier and explained that I would like to return it since it was broken. Never said that I broke it but that it was broken. Using the passive voice. The cashier called the manager and we went through the same dance again. Clearly the entire interaction was really interesting to him because he began to yawn. He asked me for my card to verify that I had indeed purchased it at an HEB. Then he said the magic words. Would you like cash or to have the amount returned to your card? Success! HEB, you're too good to me.

Sounds to drive to.

I want something to listen to in the car. I do not want to pay for it. The eternal struggle as the ancient  Greeks referred to it. There are plenty of free music services available. The radio is free. They extract their payment through forcing the listener to absorb advertising. There is a cost to everything.

My solution was to buy a thumb drive for my KIA and load up a bunch of MP3s. The cost to this is that it takes a little time and knowledge. It can be a pain to organize all the files and make sure they are compatible with my car. Initially I put a bunch of .wav, .wma and .ogg onto the device and then wondered why I couldn't find any of my files. What a fool I was. The MP3 seems to work so I have stuck with that. Other file types can be converted. Now I just have to track down some files. 

Any video you watch on YouTube can be covered into an MP3 with a third party website. I spend a lot of time driving around can listen to a song that is an hour or longer. The bulk of my content consists of Podcasts such as The Joe Rogan Experience, Comedians Comedian and Bigger pockets, as well as some Vaporwave tracks. Some JRE podcasts can last 3 or more hours. Perfect for those long days of delivery.

Is there a famous person you follow? I'm sure they have a TED talk on YouTube that you haven't had time to watch. Download it an put in on your thumb drive. Maybe you want to learn about world history? Audio book? It can all be converted into an MP3 and put into your car for free if you know where to look. 

Should I be concerned that I'm not learning about the latest and greatest whatever thing is on the market? No. There are so many ways we are being advertised to today that if something is really important and interesting, it will find its way to you. We only have so much time and attention in this life. We shouldn't just give it to some advertiser. Give me a dollar, then I'll subject myself to your advertisement. Right now people have it backwards. Pay for a subscription and then you can have an ad. free experience. As if that was possible. There are advertisements right in the content.

Very few people can live an advertisement free existence in America anymore. The best we can do is try to keep out as many as we can. That's what I like about Vaporwave music. I turn on an hour long collection of beats and random sounds then it takes me away into imagination land. I don't need another advertisement for Jared, the Galleria of Jewelry in my life. Ever.  

Coin Hunting.

Most people will not bother to pick up a coin. I've seen teenagers receive change then just throw their coins on the ground. Paper money is on the way out too so coins are even more of an inconvenience. I walked by an area where people often stand to pan handle and there was a pile of coins on the ground. Even the homeless and destitute view coins as too much of a hassle.

In the age of Covid-19, the idea of picking up a coin that could contain the virus is not increasing the appeal of coin collecting. At least not from a common parking lot or sidewalk. That is where I swoop in and collect the free money.

Where are people likely to drop coins? You have to think like a coin. If people bother keeping a coin they usually put it into their front pocket along with their keys. When they enter their car after making the nightly trip to 7-11 to buy Malt Liquor and Cheese sticks they pull their keys out of their pocket and inadvertently spill their coins onto the ground. If you go into a parking lot early in the morning or late at night you can walk up and down the area were people exit their cars to increase your odds of finding something. Refer to the diagram below.

  
Sometimes you get lucky if you keep your eyes open. I was waiting outside a fancy grocery store in the nice part of town when I saw a woman walking out of the store. She had an envelope full of cash and coupons. As she was fiddling with her purse, all the coins in the envelope spilled out. After years of training I could tell by the distinct sound of the coins striking the ground that one of them was a quarter. My excitement was pronounced as I imagined putting that same quarter into a washing machine at the laundry mat a block away from my apartment later tonight. That would come to almost 8% off a load of laundry. Tantalizing.

I walked over to put myself into position before anyone else did. My heart quickened as she stopped. It seemed that she might turn around and pick up those coins. Then I realized with great relief that she was just retracing her steps in an attempt to remember where she parked. I skulked over and picked up a cool 28 cents. The three pennies would fit nicely into the coffee tin I keep by my counter. I fill it up with lose coins and take it to my credit union where I can convert it into digital currency anytime they decide to finally let the public enter the building. By that time I should have quite a collection.

If you walk up to a fountain, is it illegal to extract the coins small children and the superstitious have used to make wishes for your own personal gain? I did a little research and found out that it is not illegal to take money out of public fountains. That money usually goes to a local charity. Don't think of it as taking money from people who don't want it. Instead, think of it as taking food out of the mouths of the needy. The problem is that if you handed them those same coins they would likely toss them back on the ground and ask you for some paper money instead. 

I should take some time to vigorously wash my hands. 20 seconds is the new standard but I think I might need to up that to 25 or 26. If you use the sink at the grocery store then the soap is free too. Good thing I live right next door to a nice one.

Renters Insurance

Renters insurance is nothing more than an annoyance. I have nothing worth insuring besides my car and it already has a policy. Lots of apartments force you to buy a policy as a condition of your lease but sometimes there are ways around this. When I first moved to Austin with my brother we were told to buy renters insurance but we just never did. The leasing office never asked us again. Problem solved.

Later I moved into a room in a house and again the landlord asked me to carry a policy but told me it was optional. So I opted not to. He could care less as long as my rent check came in each month. again, the perfect system. After 6 months he kicked us out of his house so a coworker would have a place to live. Bummer.

My two roommates and I decided to find an apartment together. The lease required that we carry renters insurance. Luckily it didn't state that we each had to carry a policy. My roommate Laquanda had renters insurance so I just forwarded the info to the leasing office and that was that. Another year I didn't have to carry a policy.

At the end of our lease we went our separate ways and I had to find another place to live. I found an apartment where they rented out the rooms individually. It was really cheap and I later found out why. The place was just on the border of being condemned. The price was right. They even had you buy a renters insurance policy instead of paying a deposit. I thought this was pretty crooked but it was cheaper than buying my own policy. It cost around $16 a month and this was nothing more than a worthless bill since I still have no possessions worth insuring at this point.

I only lasted 3 month in this dump before I couldn't take it anymore and leased my own apartment. It's very small but I am the only occupant. Which also means I have to carry a renters insurance policy according to the lease. I tried to avoid buying a policy again but then I was informed I would not be receiving the keys to my apartment without proof of a policy. I had car insurance through GEICO so I decided to go through them to buy a renters insurance policy. They even said I could get a discount on my auto insurance by bundling. Sign me up.

GEICO directed me to another company called Assurance. The policy was going to be $11 a month. Great. I bought it, moved in and forgot all about it.

After a few months I was reviewing my credit card statement and it said Assurance was charging me $16 a month. How could this be? I called the help line to get some answers. After navigating an extensive phone tree and being put on hold a few times I reached an agent. He told me that Assurance was allowed to charge me $5 a month to process my payment. I informed him that was not going to work for me an I needed to find a way to eliminate the fee or I would be canceling the policy. He laughed and told me that the only way I would be able to avoid the fee would be to pay the entire year in full and that in Texas this was a common practice. Then I laughed and told him that sounded like bull shit and I would be calling back in a few days to cancel this policy when I found a cheaper one that doesn't just steal money from its customers. He wished me luck.

After a little shopping around I found a policy with an online renters insurance company called Lemonade. It could be called Fake Insurance Company for all I care. All I want is proof that I have a policy since I never plan to make a claim even if all the filthy rags I call clothing end up getting stolen. $5.75 a month. Then even agreed to cancel my old policy so I didn't need to contact Assurance again. That is a savings of $10.25 a month on something I do not care about. Success.

The next step is to create my own fake insurance shell company based out of the Cayman islands. Then I can write a policy for myself that is just as valuable as the toilet paper policy I am currently paying for at no cost. Not a bad idea.

https://www.offshorecompany.com/company/cayman-islands/

Rucking

The gym is closed. The local pools are also closed. I still need to exercise so it will just need to be outdoors for a while. Good thing it's spring time in Texas so the weather is great for it.

All the exercise gurus on Youtube have made their own quarantine workouts. After reviewing a few I decided to make up my own routine. I start walking, then do 10 push ups, 10 jumping jacks, 10 body-squats and finally 10 lunges. Then I continue walking until my heart rate returns to normal and do it again. This is a pretty good workout for my level of fitness but I decided that I don't want to do it every day. I would like to intersperse it with different workout so I can mix it up. My normal routine is Gym, Pool, rest day in that order.

Somehow I ended up on a webpage discussing the benefits of Rucking. Pretty simple. You get a backpack or "Rucksack" as it's called. Put weight in it. Then go walking. The site claimed that you could get 85-90% of the benefits of jogging but it was much easier on your joints with the correct amount of weight. They recommended starting with either 10% of your body weight or 30 lbs in your ruck. I was sold.

I went to Walmart and picked out a backpack. It was $27 dollars. Normally I would try and find a second hand bag at a thrift store but they are all closed because they are considered non-essential businesses during the shelter in place orders.

Next, I needed to find some weights to put in the bag. At first I considered filling the bag with bottles of water because then I could drink the water as I walked. The problem was that water sloshes all over the place and isn't really all that heavy. I also considered buying some weightlifting disks and putting them in the back but I had already spent $27 on the backpack so I didn't really want to spend a bunch on the weights.

I needed something durable and dense. Like my skull. Then it hit me. I could fill the bag with rocks. There are rocks all over the place that I could have for free. I drove to the dollar store and bought a box of large zip lock bags to put the rocks in. I figured if I filled each bag they would weight close to 10 pounds. As I was doing my deliveries later that night I hit pay dirt. Free rocks.

 As I was waiting for my customers Thai Food I filled up 4 bags. Then I put them into the backpack/rucksack.

That night I couldn't wait to try out rucking so even thought it was 11:00 pm I decided to go for a trial walk. Success. I walked about 1.2 miles with the bag and had a great workout. When I returned to my appartment I was bushed. I decided that I would remove one of the bags for future rucks because the sack was too heavy. Today I took another ruck of about 2.5 miles and 3 bags of rocks was the perfect amount. When I get stronger I can continue to add more rocks.

It turned out to be a great workout plan. I would highly recommend taking up rucking until they decide to reopen the gyms. You might even have a backpack already. Then all you need is some weight and somewhere to walk.

Shower Curtain

I have been living with a few roommates to save money. The situation is not working out so I will be moving at the end of this month into a studio apartment. It will be a bit more expensive but how can you put a price on your sanity? My last roommates were great so I thought I could get lucky again. Nope.

One of my roommates named Hector also felt that things weren't working out so he decided to find a new place too. He moved out today. I could tell because when I walked into our shared bathroom he had taken his shower curtain with him. This presented me with a conundrum. How was I planning to take a shower? Most people would just put "buy a new shower curtain" on their to-do list and forget the whole thing. I saw an opportunity to save money. The cost of buying a new shower curtain is much more expensive than just having a wet floor. Which is free. Plus I'll be the only one using the bathroom for the next two weeks.

Skipping my morning shower was not an option. At least not for two weeks straight. I have a membership at planet fitness so I could opt to shower there for the next few weeks but that seemed pretty inconvenient. I could take a "whores bath" in the sink as my friend Jeff used to call them. Probably not going to work. My Girlfriend also has a shower at her place but she lives in the town over and works during the day. Not practical. I suppose I could take an actual bath because there is a tub but then I would have to sit in what I'm sure is a filthy tub. I am not certain I would emerge cleaner that way.

Then I thought, do I really need a curtain? I could aim the shower head towards the wall and put a towel down on the floor. I bet that will work. I can just get in the shower, get a layer of water on me then turn off the shower, lather up and then turn the faucet back on and rinse off. Should be easy.

I would normally be a bit more concerned about ruining the floor and risking not getting my deposit back but my apartment building has this weird thing where you don't pay a deposit. You buy renters insurance instead then they wave the deposit. Essentially, I'm not going to be getting back a deposit no matter how well I take care of the place. If I really break something obvious they could charge me in addition to my insurance but it would have to be something really bad like throwing the oven off the balcony. Even then, not sure this would raise any eyebrows. 

In the end, my shower experiment was a success. I took an abbreviated shower and the floor did not get any wetter than if I had just stood there and let myself air dry. Of course I'll need to go to Walmart and drop $4 plus tax on a shower curtain and rings in a few weeks anyways but that will be an end of February's problem. 

Free internet!

Who can live without access to the internet? My brother and I tried to go without internet in our apartment and it was horrible. We used to drive to a local coffee shop or the library to get online. The baristas would make a big stink if you came in to soak up the "free" WiFi without buying anything.  Between the two of us we spent hundreds of dollars on coffee at these places. It would have been cheaper to just pay to have it at our place. 

When I lived with my next set of roommates, we had WiFi put in and split the bill three ways. It cost us each about $20 a month. Worth it. Our apartment also had a business center where I could go 24 hours a day and get online if I needed a quiet place to blog. After a year and a half we all went our separate ways so I moved once again.

At my new place I am renting a single room in an apartment. The leasing agent told me that they have google fiber. Each room is equipped with its own router. She also said that they have a plan where you can get free access to the internet. Sounded too good to be true. Especially since everything else about my new apartment was dilapidated.

I contacted the google fiber representative. The options were that I could come to their office in downtown Austin or they could send me a router in the mail. I was pitched hard on the merits of Google high-speed ultra net or whatever they called it. I inquired about the free internet package. I was told that yes, they did have a free package but it was only a glacial 5 mps. I opted for the free package of course and assured her that if I found it too slow I would upgrade.

The Google fiber office was neat. Right when you walk in they have you sit down in front of a demonstration of to connection speeds. One is the free connection where everything is buffering and waiting to load. The other is the High-speed uber fast connection where they are simultaneously playing fortnight, mining bit coins, watching HD video, and sequencing the human genome without any lag. I was again told how smart I would be if I selected the fast internet and how stupid I would be if I selected the slow free internet. The sales person had the live demo to verify their claim right in front of us. Who could refuse?

I decided to be dumb. I again requested the free internet. Finally I was given the equipment and instructions on how to set it up. Just plug it into the wall and log into your account.

When I returned to my room I set it up and created my WiFi network. There were lots of clever WiFi network names in my building already such as porqueFi and FBI Surveillance Van. I decided to name mine after my swimming hobby. It is plenty fast enough for one person and works great for me since I am either surfing the web on my laptop or on watching youtube on my phone. For Free.

 

Almost free lunch

Saturday is my cheat day. The slow carb diet allows one day a week where I can eat anything. It helps me to stay on track during the rest of the week. I may take a day off of my diet but I never take a day off of trying to save money. Today I set out to claim my totally free lunch.

My gig work delivering from restaurants for favor occasionally produces some nice perks in the form of free food. I collect these offers and save them for Saturday. Often the receipt will offer a free burger with purchase of fries and a drink. Those go right in the trash. I want free food day to be completely free.

My first stop was down to my the office of my apartment building for a free coffee. They also have tea and bottle water available to residents and any hobos who happen to saunter in.

 

Armed with two cups of caffeine I set off to Flyrite Chicken. Last week I had to wait in line for an order for more than ten minutes so the manager gave me this token for $5 off my next visit. 

 

I looked at the menu. They had one item listed at $4.99. The original chicken sandwich. I was concerned that I may be required to pay the tax since this was prepared food. Then I remembered that I have a small cup of coins in my car where I stash coins I find on the ground around town. I decided that if I needed it I could dip into my coin collection and still maintain the spirit of free food day. Luckily the clerk said there would be no tax charged on this item. Score.

Dairy Queen was next on my list. After my last favor order there I received this an offer of a free Dilly Bar if I completed a survey. No money exchanged hands and I received my free ice cream. 

Delicious. My next plan is to continue getting punches on my Amy's Ice Cream card until I can take myself and my girlfriend out for free ice cream. Soon.

Dollar theatre

I enjoy going to see movies at a theater. The experience is more immersive. When I try to watch a movie at home it maintains my attention for about 20 minutes before I start checking my phone. Then I end up in some YouTube rabbit hole and forget all about the move.

There are plenty of theaters to choose from here in Austin but my favorite by far is the Lake Creek 7 theater northwest of town. This is a second run theater which means the movie has been out for a while so the tickets are much cheaper. Usually an adult ticket is under $3. The theater business model makes money on concessions anyways so this can be a profitable venture if they can get the film cheap enough. The screening are usually less crowded too. 

It takes about 25 minutes to drive there. As you can see from the map provided below, each of the blue dots is a theater I drive past to get to the discount theater. All of these are closer to my apartment.

I decided to go watch the new Jumanji movie. Jumanji 2: the next level. It started at 10:20 pm. Perfect. I hopped in my car and drove up. The dollar store next door where I usually pick up a snack for the film was closed. I walked into the theater and someone had cleaned the place up. It used to be a dump so I figured it was under new management.

One for Jumanji please.

Sure. That will be $12.

Huh? What happened to the $3 tickets. The clerk told me that they had transitioned to a normal first run theater and was no longer a discount theater. I turned around and walked out.

In the parking lot I decided to weigh my options. I would have wasted an hour with all the driving for nothing if I decided to skip the movie but the only reason I drove up here in the first place was to get a cheap ticket. Had I known the ticket was going to be full price I would not have come in the first place but I was already here.

I reluctantly walked back in to purchase a ticket. I noticed a sign next to the counter. It listed a range of discounts for different groups. Veterans, children, the elderly, and students. I decided that I would attempt to get the student discount. I told that clerk that I just started a 10 week sketch writing class at the ColdTowne Theatre so technically, I was a student. He smirked at my request pointed to the part of the sign where it said, with student ID. Well met. I told him they didn't issue ID's for this program but then I showed him an email which confirmed my spot in the class. He had to get his manager involved but in the end I did end up with the student discount which priced my ticket at $9.74.

There were three people in the theater including me. The woman behind me began cackling like a lunatic at the stupidest jokes during the movie. Next time I'll be staying home alone and streaming something off YouTube.