Phone Upgrade?

This whole country is resistant to saving money. Every time I try there are obstacles. Many of which only exist to extract more money or create frustration that will encourage me to pay for future solutions. Companies know that if they add some friction to make it a little bit difficult to save money then people will spend to make the problem go away. 

I am not a typical consumer. I'm not even a typical human. I am willing to expend time and effort to save money. To the point of absurdity. It's a combination of stubbornness and righteous indignation. Often times something could be done cheaper but they aren't which makes me angry. I also have way more time and effort available than money. Often this combination of personality traits leads me into trouble. I do not learn.

I decided it was time to upgrade my phone. My trusty Samsung S7 still works. The issue is that I have been making video comedy sketches for Instagram. The phone overheats quickly while filming. Sometimes the audio gets cut for no reason. I don't mind re-filming scenes or fixing errors when I'm the only person involved. When I invite others I don't want to waste their time with faulty equipment. 

I purchased my S7 on Amazon back in 2019 for $164. New it retailed for $670. So I saved about $500. I used the phone for almost 3 years so I spent the equivalent $4.55 a month. Straight Talk is my phone carrier. I pay $55 a month for unlimited mobile data and also 10 gigs of mobile Hot Spot access. I use my mobile hot spot to get online with my laptop instead of having an internet connection in my apartment. Google keeps emailing me that my apartment is ready to have google fiber installed, I keep telling them I get my entertainment from the Public Library.

After doing research I found the Samsung S10 was at a price point I liked. $240 for a refurbished (used) phone on Amazon v.s. the original retail of $899. This would be a significant upgrade. 128 gig v.s. 32 gig hard drive.  8 gigs v.s. 4 gigs of Ram. The screen is also slightly longer. Most importantly the front and back cameras are much better.

Now I just had to figure out a way to pay for it. Lucky for me I received a $50 Amazon gift card from my mom at Christmas time. I received a $10 amazon gift card from RBCFU Credit Union for being a loyal customer. For my birthday I received another $50 gift card from my mom and a $50 prepaid visa gift card from my girlfriend's niece's mother in law, which I of course converted into $50 Amazon gift card. It only took 4 months but I had accumulated $160 in Amazon credits. 

I then took all the loose change I found by taking walks to the bank and deposited $19.31 into my checking account. I charged the remaining $80 to my credit card with the lowest interest rate. I used the coin money to pay back a portion of this charge right away. I was able to not only receive free shipping but also a free month of Amazon prime which I will cancel in 30 days. The phone arrived in a few days.

I was feeling confident. Cocky even. Everything was going to plan. Pride comes before the fall. 

All I needed now was to take the Sim Card out of my old phone, put it into my new phone and fire it up. I used to work at Verizon so this was something I did multiple times a day. Couldn't be easier. What a fool I was. 

After swapping out the Sim Card I restarted the phone. It was unable to find the mobile carrier network. Multiple attempts later, it was still not working. I would need to log onto my Straight Talk account and input some information to make the swap. No problem. 

It was a huge problem. After combing through pages of account information and searching for advice from the web I attempted to call Straight Talk customer service. After navigating an extensive phone tree designed to break your spirit, I was able to be put in line to speak to a customer service representative. I was number 47 in line and my expected wait time was 2 hours and 10 minutes. Nope, click. It's almost like they don't want to help at all. Almost. 

You'd think the discount carrier would want to retain their customers like any other but they know why you're their customer in the first place. They're the cheapest. Good customer service costs the company money. I was on my own. I worked at a store that sold cell phones and I still couldn't figure it out. I don't know what chance other people would have to get it figured out at this point. 

I was able to contact a "human" through an online chat tech support feature on the website. I explained  I had purchased a new phone and needed to swap out the Sim Cards. They said this was impossible, even though I had done this exact same thing to upgrade my S5 to my S7 through straight talk. The "human" said I would need to buy a new Sim Card. Fine. They were only $0.99. 

I wanted to use my new used phone now. I could order a Sim Card from the Straight Talk website or I could drive to the nearest Walmart and pick one up. They were listed at the same price of $0.99 on Google and I figured I could save on shipping. The price of gas is nearing $4.00 a gallon but it was less than a mile away. 

Most Walmart employees are not exactly knowledgeable about products or helpful in any way. When I arrived in the electronics department a gentleman came right over and walked me to the Straight Talk area. I explained my problem about needing to swap the Sim Cards over, which is slightly technical and he even knew what I was talking about! What kind of magic Walmart had I walked into? 

Unfortunately this Walmart did not sell Sim Cards for $0.99. I could buy a Sim Card that came with an activation plan. Only $55 dollars which would apparently roll into my current plan. I told the gentleman that I was on auto pay. 

Then he asked to see my new phone. I proudly showed him my newly purchased Samsung S10. He complemented me on my shrewd purchase and asked if I had considered switching carriers. He told me I could get AT&T service for $50 dollars a month. This Walmart employee sure seemed to know a lot about phones. That's about the time I got suspicious. 

I looked him over more closely. He had a Samsung lanyard around his neck. He was wearing a black polo and not a blue Walmart polo. He had a nice clean cut appearance with a tasteful watch. This was no Walmart employee, this was a phone salesman working inside a Walmart. 

He then proceeded to tell me I could get a free new phone by switching to AT&T. That I could trade in my old phone and then have two phones. Why in gods name he thinks I would need two phones is beyond me. Oh wait, he needs a commission. He'd sell me 8 phones right not if I let him. 

He started back into his sales pitch for AT&T but I quickly started coughing loudly and walking away as fast as my flip flops would carry me. He began to follow me but I said I was going to order a Sim Card online. 

I arrived home and ordered the $0.99 Sim Card from the Straight Talk website.

I should have looked more carefully because there is no shipping charge. Whoops. They said 3-5 day shipping but then there is a asterisks**. They're having high demand for Sim cards so there could be a delay. 

Best case scenario, a Straight Talk employee saw my order immediately flash across their screen and they jumped up from their computer, ran to the warehouse, scooped up a fresh Sim Card, placed a printed mailing address onto an envelope and rushed off the the post office to get me my $0.99 + $0.08 in sales tax Sim Card as soon as possible. Good thing I had it shipped to my girlfriend's place because my mailbox is still broken.

It's more likely the robots that fill the envelopes have become sentient and are on strike for more humane treatment. If the Sim Card is being shipped from outside the United States I may as well assume it isn't coming.

 In conclusion, I have a new discounted phone that I may or may not be able to use soon. Why doesn't everyone do this? 

What did I learn? Nothing. 

Will I do it again? Yes. 

Is there something wrong with my brain? Yes.

Light bulb goes on.

While driving a car next to me made the signal to roll down my window. They yelled "You have no break lights." I backed up to a window and checked. Sure enough, only the tiny light in the middle was activating. 

My Kia Soul eats light bulbs. It seems like I'm changing a light bulb once a month. The headlights cost almost $100 with parts and labor. Luckily the rear bulbs only cost around $25 to have installed.

I am hesitant to do any car repairs myself. I'm also broke right now because of past car repair bills that are sitting on a couple of credit cards. The idea of dumping more money into a car that pushed me into debt makes me want set things on fire but driving without brake lights is idiotic. Great way to get a ticket. People here already drive aggressively here and having no break lights is an invitation to be rear ended.

How hard is it to change a break light bulb? I had no idea so I turned to YouTube for answers. Turns out it's about the most basic repair one could hope for. The guy in the video swapped them out in about 4 minutes with just a screwdriver. 

After cruising down to Auto Zone, I parked near the three other guys who were working on their vehicles in the parking lot. I figured if I ran into trouble, maybe one of the other amateur mechanics could give me a hand. After identifying the burnt out bulb I removed the entire brake light from the back of the car and pulled out the bulb. 

The clerk in the store looked up the bulb on her computer and took me over to select the correct one. To my untrained eye, they looked a bit different but she assured me it was the correct bulb and would fit. After telling me about how many bulbs I had lost in the last few months, she gave me a packet of bulb grease on the house. Pretty great. Two bulbs for about $7. 

Worked like a charm. It took me about 10 minutes to replace both bulbs after leaving the store. I probably will not attempt any thing more complicated when it comes to repairs in the future but this one worked out. It was simple and satisfying to do it myself. The downside would have been me driving the two bulbs to a shop and having someone install the bulbs so not a huge risk. Either way, crisis averted. 

 

Microphone Stand Innovation.

 I have been hosting an open mic comedy night the last 6 weeks. Part of the deal is that I bring my own microphone and stand. As the host I am paid $50 per event minus any drinks consumed. Usually that brings my take home pay to $35. More of a hobby than a real job but it's still nice to get paid something for the effort. 

The mic goes from 6pm till 2am. Other comics are baffled that I am interested in hosting it at all. For only $50. I view it as a was to gain more exposure and work on my ability to write one liners.

Last week I had a new comic take the stage for the first time. He had a suit case full of musical parts. He said he would be playing a comedic version of the clarinet. Since this was an open mic, I told him to proceed. 

He needed to lower the mic so it would pick up the music. Instead he snapped my microphone stand in half. Whoops. You would think a musician would know how to operate a microphone stand. Maybe that was part of the joke. I was certainly not laughing.

I was a bit pissed off because now the remaining comics would have to set the microphone on a stool. This increased the chances of it falling on the pavement and being damaged too. The offending "comic" said he was sorry he broke the stand and then ran off into the night. 

I had spend $50 to purchase this mic stand at guitar center. I wasn't looking forward to buying another. 

As I picked up the broken pieces my mind began to wander. Maybe it would be better to get a long 2x4 and attach the mic to that for these animals. Unfortunately, that would be a pain to lug around in my tiny car.

Then I considered good old duck tape. The problem there is that the stand would then only be semi functional. Every performer is a different height so I need the stand to remain adjustable. 

When I arrived home I took another look at the broken pieces. I realized that the adjustable arm and the telescoping arm were exactly the same part. I decided that I could dismantle the stand, switch the broken arm for the other arm and then remove a few excess parts. Then the telescoping function would still work.  

After about an hour of tinkering I reassembled my new and improved microphone stand. Lighter, simpler and at no additional financial cost. It has all the functions I need for open mic comedy. Now if the participants would just write some jokes we could have a great show.

I am very proud of my Microphone stand innovation. So proud that I created a meme to commemorate the event. It feels good to figure things out. Saving money is also a nice bonus. I'll test it out at the open mic this week and we'll see what happens. If it breaks again I'll try something else. Either way it was a fun project.

 

Discount Transport.

My check engine light began blinking. Google said that is very bad. Took my car in for a $1,150 repair of the catalytic converter and rear O2 sensor. The car is still in the shop. 

That same night I wanted to go perform stand up comedy at two different open mics. The first one I had signed up for in advance. The cost of a ride share was around $30. After spending all that money on another repair I didn't like that idea. 

Why not take the bus? I literally had all day. There are 4 bus stops a three minute walk from my apartment because I live in a classy part of town. The cost is only $1.25.

I google mapped out a route. Three minute walk to the #3 line. Then a one and a half hour ride north followed by a 4 minute walk to the bar. Same bus the entire time. Seemed almost too easy. 

Inside my backpack I placed some essentials. Two books, note pad for jokes, a pen, thermos of water, thermos of coffee, phone charger, iPod. It was also getting cold so I packed a hat, gloves and neck warmer. I put on my new vest and hiking shoes and departed for comedy glory. 

As I was walking to the bus stop I saw the #3 bus pulling through the intersection. Missed it by about 2 minutes. No matter. Another would be by in 30 minutes. I contemplated returning to my apartment to wait but decided to stand at the stop and watch the cars go by. I had a Vaporwave music mix called "Downtown Sparkles" playing so I was in a good mood. 

The bus arrived and I put my 5 quarters into the slot. Social distancing was in effect on the bus so everyone had to wear a mask. Half the seats were blocked off and everyone sat as far apart as possible. I pulled out my book and started reading. It was about 4:30pm and the mic stared at 6:30pm. 

We were nearing my destination so I pulled the cord. I missed my stop somehow. The bus driver was trying to tell me how to get back to where I needed to go on a different bus but I was too pissed off to listen. The mic started in 30 minutes and I didn't want to be late. 

I whipped out my trusty google map. I was 1.6 miles away by foot. Estimated time, 28 minutes. I started walking briskly in the direction of the bar.

Made it with 5 minutes to spare. Guess I'm a fast walker. It was nice to take a break and wait for my set. Since I saved so much money on the bus ride I thought I'd treat myself to a beer. 

I asked my friend Patrick who was also the host if I could make a special announcement. If anyone was going to the Lucky Duck open mic after this I would love to catch a ride since I came on the bus. He laughed because he thought I was telling him a joke. Then he laughed harder when he found out it was the truth. "You never tell jokes," he said "you just talk about funny things that actually happen to you." How true. 

I did my comedy set which went well. At the end I asked the crowd if anyone was heading to the next mic and I could catch a ride. My friend Spencer volunteered right away. 

We had a nice chat about comedy on the way over and he gave me a few suggestions on how I could tighten up my act. I got a lot out of our conversation. It can be hard to give people honest feedback about their performance and it was pleasant to have a conversion with a comedy colleague about technique. 

The list at the second mic was long. 60 some comics had signed up for 3 minute sets. The show started at 8pm and I was up near the end, around midnight. 

This presented a problem. The bus stops running around midnight which is about the time I would be performing. I was closer to my apartment then the other mic but it was still far. After mapping it out it was about a 7.6 mile walk which would take about 2.5 hours.

Again, I had options. I could ask for another ride. I could get hail a ride share. I thought I'll see how I felt when my second set was over. 

My set went well. I had fun and got off the stage. By this time the bar had pretty much emptied out. I didn't want to ask for a ride from someone I didn't know. Maybe it was the beer. Maybe I was still mad about my broken car. Maybe I'm just an idiot. 

I decided to walk back.  

It was midnight when I left the bar. I started walking. I arrived back at my place around 2:45 am. I am pretty sore today. 

I had plenty of time to reflect on my behavior during that walk. Why don't I like to ask for help? It would have been a minor inconvenience to just ask one of the other comics for a ride. I decided to suffer needlessly instead. Why? To punish myself? I can't figure it out. 

I rely on my car so much. Every time it breaks I feel like a huge failure. It puts my ability to earn money in jeopardy and threatens my feeling of usefulness. It really gets me. Being in debt bothers me too. Just when I think I'm on top of it I get another large car repair bill. They are connected since the delivery job is causing me to go into debt and ruin my car.

Why can't I walk away from my delivery job? It has put me into debt. I don't make much money. The IRS is after me for irregularities in my income. I know the job is dumb but I keep doing it. It doesn't serve me. It gave me the illusion of freedom in the beginning but now I am going to be a slave to my debt for a while. More deliveries will just bring on more debt. My life would be so much easier if I went out and found a traditional job but something is holding me back. What?

Maybe another long walk is needed before I can figure it out and make a change.

Free Trial Trap.

The free trial is an insidious business practice. Try us for a month free with no obligation. Be sure to read the fine print. These agreements usually come with an auto renew "feature". 

A friend of mine sent me a groupon offer. One year of Mad Magazine for $5. Cheap. Sign me up. Then I  looked through the fine print. They want $1 as a processing fee. Fine. Now it's $6 a year. Still a steal. 

What they don't make obvious is that you also signed up for an auto renewal of your subscription at full price. Which starts in October. 8 months into the subscription. No normal person is thinking about renewing their subscription 2/3rds of the way into it. That's how they get you.

I am offered a free subscription to Amazon prime every 4 or 5 months. Free shipping is the best. It also auto subscribes to prime at the end of your trial period. How convenient, for Amazon. That's how they get you. 

I signed up for a Chase United Explorer credit card. They gave me a two free flights and the first year with no fees. Then they want $95 a year to keep the card open. I don't use the card anymore but I don't want to cancel it because that will effect my credit score. That's how they get you. 

All these transactions have one thing in common. They prey on natural human laziness. They give you something free and then collect their payment later when you aren't paying attention. Even if people can remember they need to cancel it they may not know how or have the energy to do so.   

I have a simple system to get the free stuff and not pay in the end. The moment I sign up for a free trial I pull up my google calendar and make a note to cancel the service.

Once you get into this habit it becomes easy. Just today I received a notification, "cancel credit card". I remembered the bitter feeling I experienced when I paid the $95 fee that credit card around this time last year. I made a note on my calendar which I acted on today.

It was easy to have the fee removed. I called the number on the back of the card and told them I needed them to either remove the fee or cancel the card. The customer service agent was happy to switch my card to another no fee card with the same credit limit as before. Saving me $95 a year and preserving my current credit ratio. 

This also moves the worry about remembering out of your mind. This part of my memory is now automated. Let your phone worry about it for you. I'll get a notification to cancel my Mad Magazine subscription in October. Thanks google.

The things that are easy to to are easy not to do. With this system you can have all the advantages up front and not pay later unless you want to, not because you forgot.

Discount Chicken.

Cooking is a creative outlet I enjoy. I seek out novel food items then attempt to make them at home. It saves money while providing tasty variety in my day. When I see something unusual my mind begins to plan how I will make it myself.

During a delivery a customer ordered chicken livers and chicken gizzards. Then they asked for gizzards only if possible. What part of the chicken is a gizzard? As a seasoned trivia host, I was embarrassed that I had no idea. Apparently, the gizzard is a muscle on stomach of the chicken. They use for grinding during digestion. This person wanted to eat 12 of these.  

Maybe they know something I don't. It sounds weird and gross but further research said that the chicken gizzard is a very healthy part of the chicken. Not only high in protein and low in fat but also contains important vitamins such as B-12, Iron and zinc. I was sold so I went of and bought a package of chicken gizzards at the grocery store. Like most unusual animal parts, these were not very expensive. only $1.44 a pound. Cheap Cheep.

I decided the best way to prepare them would be in the cast iron skillet. I baked the gizzards with a sliced onion and some Cajun seasoning at 350 degrees for a half hour. When I pulled them out, they didn't look done so I put them in for another half hour. An hour in total. 

They were a disaster. I bit into my first gizzard and it was unpleasant. It did not taste like chicken at all. More like beef. Beef flavored chewing gum would have been an decent description. They were not good. I briefly considered throwing them directly into the trash. Then the savings region of my brain kicked in. That would be like throwing $2 on the ground. I wrestled back and forth internally. These were not edible in their current condition, but don't waste them. What to do?

They were too tough to be considered a food product. I decided to compromise. I would put the gizzards into the instant pot and slow cook them for 8 hours. If after that they were still inedible, I would throw them out. My various brain regions agreed that this was a wise course of action.

I went about my day and came back in the evening with pretty low expectations for my chicken gizzard experiment. I bit into my first gizzard and it was surprisingly good. Still not what I would consider chicken but more like a cut of sirloin. I bit into a second one and almost cracked a tooth. There was a piece of bone or something in that one. After deciding to chew more carefully, I put some in a bowl with a bit of hot sauce and had a pleasant dinner.  

Often my way of gauging a food project is, would I make it again on purpose? I think I would. I wouldn't make it for company because it would be just a bit too unusual for most people but I could see slicing the gizzards up thin and putting them on some spicy tacos on a bed of shredded cabbage. 

Cheaper than going to a movie and much more interesting. I now have more knowledge about chicken anatomy than yesterday which also expands my ability to write trivia questions effectively.  

Winner winner, chicken diner? Sort of.

Passing the Bucks.

The solution to debt is obviously more debt. Early this month it became apparent that I would not be able to keep up with my current debt load without incurring interest. My delivery work has slowed a bit but really the problem is the amount I owe is too high. I burned through 80% of my savings trying to keep up but the debt has been persistent. 

I have a few options at my disposal. I have the Interest Free Loan Idea and the Return Loan Idea which have worked fine up until now. I could have decided to take some money out of my IRA. I have regretted doing this in the past and consider it a final resort.  I could also ask members of my family for a small loan. They wouldn't mind but I'd like to save that type of favor for a crisis, not an inconvenience. This debt feels more like an annoyance. 

Luckily for me during all the crazy events of 2020 I have been able to maintain a stable credit score. I'm hovering around 729. I check my score once a week on Nerd Wallet. www.nerdwallet.com. They list different credit card offers that you can qualify for based on your current credit score. I opened a section called 0% APR balance transfer cards. 

There are different types of transfer cards. Make sure you read the fine print. I signed up for a card from Citi Bank. The offer was a no fee card. If you transfer a balance, there will be no interest charged for the first 18 months. The cost is a 3% transfer fee. I qualified for a $3,600 credit limit after I was approved for the card. 

I transferred $3,000 from a couple of cards I have at Chase Bank. The total cost of doing this was $90. So for that $90 I have a year and a half to repay this debt. What they don't make obvious is that if you do not pay the full amount in the period, they charge you for all the interest for the entire year and a half at a rate of 20%. Gulp.

I essentially converted my short term high interest debt into long term no interest debt (minus fee). I will have to pay at a minimum $172 a month to service this debt.  

Why would the bank do this? Interest rates are at all time lows. They want the $90. Statistically a certain number of people will default on this and be forced to pay the huge pile of back interest which is also free money for the bank assuming they get paid some day. 

This is a reasonable solution to my debt problem in the mid term. I need to start looking into the future and ask myself: Why am I having these debt problems? This debt can be tied directly to my delivery job. 100% of the money I owe currently is from massive car repairs. Now that the car is fixed I can pay for the repair, by further breaking my car. 

My initial plan to address this negative cycle was to auto deposit $50 a week into a savings account for repairs. Turns out that amount is not enough. 

I enjoy my delivery job. I like the flexibility, the freedom and the autonomy. The problem is I can't just be sending all my pay to the auto repair shop. 

 I was also recently popped by the IRS for "Irregularities in my income" which is also a problem tied directly to my work as a delivery driver. I'll be able to sort that problem out by it wouldn't exist if I had a more traditional income. 

I have to face facts. It's time to find a different source of income. These problems are going to continue as long as I continue as a delivery driver. There must be some job out there that has all the freedom, flexibility and autonomy I want but doesn't slowly grind my car into dust. I just need to use my imagination. It would be challenging to spend less money. I need to begin making more.